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Monday, December 20, 2004

Cleaning for Santa...or at least that's what they think!

Call it manipulative, underhanded, or whatever you want, but using the name of Santa for the purposes of cleaning childrens' rooms isn't beyond me. Threats, like grounding or no phone privileges, have no power to a 7 year old or 4 year old. Spanking, although effective, can't be used for this particular problem as my hand would fall off from the infinite swatting and then DHS would be called, etc. Santa's name carries with it a certain clout we parents cannot touch. Just the fact he sees you when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake...well, it's a little creepy to me but I had a college stalker for two weeks so it's probably just a flashback.

Anyway, this week is the deadline for this type of parental control and I don't want to miss the boat. There are closets to clean, old toys to donate, miniscule pieces of some Polly Pocket wardrobe that will require pliers to remove from the carpet. And if that isn't enough, my daughter's version of putting clothes away is along the same lines of my dog's selection of where to poop - anywhere. The boy, well, I think he will have to marry an OCD woman in order to balance out his chaotic yet brilliant ability to completely destroy any type of organization to his room. Never mind the bookshelves look better with the books stacked with the spines facing outward, oh no, let's turn them around and somehow diagonally stack Dr. Suess's greatest works in such a fashion they cannot be removed without a knife.

I know, if I was a better mother/housekeeper/organizer/time manager I wouldn't be faced with this problem. But I don't live in the 'if world'. And I don't wear pearls when I vacuum or sing while I mop. I don't enjoy cleaning. I hate putting clothes away. I had two children in the hopes that one day when they were old enough, they would take over the dishwashing and laundry. Now I just hope I can kick a trail through their rooms to begin what will forever be known as: THE DAY POLLY POCKET AND SPIDERMAN MET THEIR DOOM.


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