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Thursday, December 16, 2004

Turdknuckle brown, the new black

What's turdknuckle brown? Imagine the color of dog poo mixed with Hershey's chocolate syrup and a hint of pea green soup and you've got it.
My first car was turdknuckle brown with a fly away leather top. When I say fly away I mean the faster I drove, pieces of the leather would 'fly away'. Did you know that you can get a full case of beer across the dashboard of a turdknuckle brown Ford LTD Brougham circa 1972? And if you are fit, there can be up to 5 people of any sex in the backseat and room enough for double daters in the front seat.
And safe - let me tell you this: you can hit a motorhome with the TKB LTD going, say, 35 miles an hour and IT WILL BEND THE FRAME OF THE MOTORHOME! The LTD, on the other hand, will only suffer a mild blemish.
I think the NYC fashion designers are missing the mark with the new spring colors. Can't you just see Kate Moss dripping in turdknuckle brown pleats? And won't Cindy Crawford be divine in Cadillac's newest Sevillle in the biggest color fad since neon pink in the 80s?
All because of me. Turdknuckle brown. Use it in a sentence tomorrow. Dare ya.

2 Comments:

  • And by the way, I cannot take full credit for the term 'turdknuckle'. My mom has full rights to this and many other sayings I may release as they hit me.

    By Blogger Tisha from Texas, at 10:31 AM  

  • I'm so glad you posted this -- it brings back memories of my old '76 Ford Granada, of the same classy color. Geesh, why don't we see cars like that anymore? I just loved the line about the fly away leather, that was too funny! I was wondering where the term "Turdnuckle Brown" came from. :)

    By Blogger Wendi Friend, at 1:10 AM  

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