Welcome to my world - The world of Tish

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Why I can never show my face in Utah

I spoke with my best friend from college today. Great gal, has a laugh that could light the world up no matter what ugliness mankind invents. She also has the most blueberry eyes. We talked about the blog and how personal some of my entries have been which reminded me of the story of two Mormon boys.

Everyone has parties in college, right? The morning after is hell, mind you, so whoever gets up first is in charge of beercan removal. With only four hours of sleep, I crept around the living room with a trashbag. The smell of Keystone Light, salsa, and tacos filled the room. Since I wasn't planning on seeing the public anytime soon that day, an old crop top and shorts seemed sufficient. Until the doorbell rang.

How many times do you see a good looking Mormon? Think about it. Most are average height and weight, some have the whole acne thing going but for the most part, they don't stop traffic. Except for Jonah. Even in my hungover state, I knew a good looking man when I saw one. And he was ringing my doorbell? Sounds like a sign to me.

I let them in only to sit on the couch that probably held secret three or four sexual encounters (my roommate's, of course!). They looked like guilty children sinking into the brown plaid cushions.

"So what's the deal with ya'll?" I scanned Jonah's face for any sign of interest in me. Come on, boy, I'm over here with no bra on and in Hooter-like shorts, what's not to like?

His counterpart, Steven or something, began rambling about the Church of Latter Day Saints.

"Are ya'll thirsty?" I tried making direct eye contact, but Jonah studied the broken chips on the floor.

"So, what we are trying to share with you is..."

"Do you ever get time off? Like to get dinner or a movie?" My boldest move fell flat. They both stood and headed towards the door.

"Don't run off. I was going to make breakfast."

The other one waited until Jonah had fled to the stairs before he said,"It's noon, young lady. You need to pray for yourself."

He was right on both counts. So now I picture a sketch of me, like those seen at the Post Office, hanging at all of the Mormon meeting sites with a big sign: BEWARE.
Good thing I go to church now or else I'd be on the road to hell for sure.


  • I found you on Crystal's blog. You are a crack-up! Thanks for the laugh!

    By Blogger tinkamarink, at 2:04 PM  

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