Welcome to my world - The world of Tish

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

A day to wonder why you even put a bra on

Today, I learned that.....

I'm not too big for my britches. Not in the 'oh, you've lost weight' way, either. Call me crazy, but seeing as I have twelve years invested in the physical therapy game, I think I am qualified to determine who needs or doesn't need a wheelchair. Forget my degree or experience, Miss Patient's wife, you just tell me what I should think and do.

There is an invisible sign that only children can read when entering Hobby Lobby. Don't quote me, but I think it says "TOUCH EVERYTHING IN SIGHT. PULL PETALS FROM THE SILK FLOWERS. TALK LOUDLY DURING CHECK-OUT." And the employees, knowing full well this sign exists, stand and watch with amusement as every mother plies assorted greenery from her child's hands.

Husbands that have been up since three a.m. will initiate a major home improvement project that require cutting a HOLE IN THE SHEETROCK THE SIZE OF A PROFESSIONAL DARTBOARD. Who do you think is going to clean that up? Hmmm.

A trip to the Pizza Inn buffet while wearing work clothes sets off sensors in the well dressed women of the town to congregate near my table. Their eyes skim my high water pants. I can only take this as jealousy since I am brave enough to wear something comfortable, unlike their heeled boots. Who dresses to eat PIZZA for pete's sake?

Girl scout meetings run much smoother when I don't attend. My maternal instincts combined with my obnoxious take charge-ness often put me smack dab in the middle of activities. Not that I don't enjoy making Smores with my daughter, but after the 15TH Smore, I'm bored. No, not bored, irritated is more like it.
Just put the chocolate on the broken graham cracker, it will taste the same - ARGHHH!

So I ask you, why did I leave the bed? I could have gone braless, in my own home with the remainder of the Girl Scout cookies to keep my hips company. Dang it.

6 Comments:

  • I like when the women folk decide to go bra-less!

    By Anonymous Keeme, at 10:16 PM  

  • You go braless around me and I'll turn down the thermostat!

    By Blogger The Ugly American, at 7:26 AM  

  • You can come and show off that take charge-ness around my Cub Scout Den meeting anytime...

    I wish another parent would!

    By Blogger Charlie on the PA Turnpike, at 7:37 AM  

  • You mean we're not supposed to go braless on a daily basis? :snerk:

    By Blogger Chicka, at 12:53 PM  

  • No, those well-dressed women never see us when we take the time to fix our hair JUST SO or expertly apply makeup! They seek us out when we are wearing our high-waters or our beat-up sneakers or we are having the worst bad-hair day EVER. And they show up at our tables when we're eating a mound of pasta, not when we're picking at a healthy salad! Wenches!

    By Blogger Natsthename, at 1:09 PM  

  • Hobby Lobby and kids is a nightmare. Way too much temptation and stimulation.

    I'm at work and your post reminded me that I have some girl scout cookies stashed in my filing cabinet. Sounds like the perfect time for them. If I had a bra, I'd remove it! :)

    By Blogger Brian, at 11:37 AM  

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