Welcome to my world - The world of Tish

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Sorry, not funny today

One of my favorite patients of all time died last night. His daughter called me this morning to tell me the news personally so I wouldn't read it in the paper tomorrow. I have sobbed for an hour and dread telling the kids that Mr. Will has gone to heaven.

This is what is hard about my profession. It would be easier if I distanced myself from the patient, from their circumstances and their lives. But that isn't me. Every patient is special to me, but Will and I connected the moment he became my patient. Teaching someone to walk again after hip surgery is fine, but teaching someone to walk that was once on a ventilator, once unable to sit up or stand, now that's what being a therapist is all about.

As I taught Will how to regain function, he taught me about life, loss, and laughter. He had lost a son at the age of 19, then a wife to cancer, then when life was supposed to be easy, Guillan Barre came knocking at his door. Sure, he had his pity party days, but then he'd pick himself up and we'd fight that monster. We cried together, laughed together, and shared secrets with each other.

There are lines that are supposed to be drawn with patients if you are a healthcare professional. If I would have obeyed those 'rules', this loss would be another number or statistic on a never ending list. I would have missed the friendship, the memories, and the lessons that only Will could teach me.

There will be no more trips to the gambling boats in Shreveport or visits to gossip and gripe. His laughter will no longer echo in my home but only in my mind.

As much as I cry, I know he is with his wife watching all of us prepare to say goodbye.

I hate goodbyes.

12 Comments:

  • I'm so sorry, sweetie. Sending you all my best wishes.

    By Blogger ClaudBLOG, at 6:51 PM  

  • he left a great impression and made you realize what you had and how wonderful the world can be, does it get better than that?

    By Blogger Senior Thinking, at 7:55 PM  

  • But you wouldn't make the same difference if you didn't care. I'm sorry and I know you're hurting. But know you did good and remember what the two of you meant to each other.

    By Anonymous TW, at 10:20 PM  

  • I'm so sorry for your loss.
    I hate goodbyes too so instead I say "I'll see you when I get there"

    By Blogger Chaotic Serenity, at 10:29 PM  

  • Tish, as a fellow therapist (psychotherapist in this case) I can tell you true that if we didn't "cross the line" in caring for some of our patients when the chemistry clicks, we wouldn't be good therapists. That doesn't mean that we can violate our ethical codes, but it dang sure means we can be human and respond in human ways to human needs. You did that with Mr. Will. Good on you girl, good on you!

    By Blogger GM Roper, at 10:53 PM  

  • remember, you made as much a mark with him as he you. You did your job well and as you said, he is with his wife. I hope today is better for you.

    By Blogger ShoeHound, at 5:03 AM  

  • I'm sorry to hear that, Tish. I can't imagine how difficult that must be. Prayers going up.

    By Blogger Candace, at 1:50 PM  

  • Sorry to hear about the loss.

    By Blogger Housewife, at 2:13 PM  

  • I understand completely, for I was never able to obey 'those' rules of attachment either. I'm sorry you have lost your friend.

    By Blogger Mamacita, at 2:51 PM  

  • I'm very sorry for your loss.

    By Blogger Robin, at 4:06 PM  

  • I'm so sorry

    (hugs)

    the best is yet to come

    By Blogger Carly, at 10:15 PM  

  • I'm so sorry Tish!

    ((((HUGS))))

    By Blogger Nickle Annie, at 6:39 PM  

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