Welcome to my world - The world of Tish

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Appliances of a Woman's life

Ages 0-4: Nothing unless you count the safety plug covers that every child automatically gravitates towards with infinite curiosity.

Ages 5-10:

What little girl doesn't dream of and eventually own the E-Z bake oven? Mine was slightly used, a sticker torn so it read "Z Bak ove". The light bulb unevenly baked the cookies and mini-cakes. Somehow it survived me but bit the dust as my sister introduced the Oven to raw meat and eggs mixed with dollops of butter.

Ages 11-18:

Let the primping begin! How many hours are logged in drying, straightening, crimping, and curling our hair? Learning to style your hair with an electrical appliance falls right below finding the perfect eyebrow arch and/or correct application of foundation. The magnifying cosmetic mirrors also fall into this category.

Ages 19-23:

Freedom at last is never more apparent than the contents of a dorm fridge. Soda pops for the Mormons, ready to eat sausage links for the vegetarian-raised kids, and a six pack of Coors light for the preacher's kid. While the lifespan for this appliance varies for each woman per their major, it represents the transition from dependency to adulthood with three small shelves and an ice tray.

Ages 24-35:

The breast pump. No other appliance in a woman's life holds such importance. It relieves pain, nourishes an infant, and provides an excuse for a larger cubicle at work. The portable units make driving interesting to say the least and are the entertainment for many truck drivers across the nation. Just the sound - SHOOM, SHOOM - can harden the nipples of women of all ages and send men cringing into the other room.

Ages 35-45:

Domestic duties take center stage with children running underfoot and spouses using too many towels. The thought of a brand new dryer, while boring to younger women, sends chills of happiness down a woman's spine. Larger loads, quicker dry times, AND A WRINKLE FREE OPTION...oh, nothing can compare unless you are lucky enough to purchase the matching washer that claims to use less water but eradicates all stains without pre-treatment.

Ages 46-90: To be discovered in ten years. If you have any suggestions, please let me know.


  • I would suggest a pool boy - one like myself, tall, dark, handsome, and funny.

    By Anonymous eddo, at 11:34 AM  

  • I just have general appliance lust. Refrigerators, dishwashers, microwaves, washers...all of it. And flooring. I dream of hardwoods, tile...ahhh, better stop now, I'm getting crazed feelings at the sight of the commercials on HG TV.

    By Anonymous TW, at 10:14 PM  

  • How about a fan/airconditioning or somrthing of the likeness of cooling one off during the natural changes of life? Not that I would...I'm just guessing

    By Anonymous mrsG, at 9:15 PM  

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