Welcome to my world - The world of Tish

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Droppings from My Cage

When applying sunscreen, do not assume that the mere act of passing your hand over your right arm will protect it. APPLY GENEROUSLY isn't a suggestion, people, it's the law.

When attending a t-ball game sans spouse, wear your wedding ring. It will shield you from freakish bachelor uncles and their lame come-on lines. If caught, try this excuse: "Oh, I can't take pictures from this angle," and move your folding chair to the opposite side of the fence. I doubt he bought it, but I'm not selling anything else, bub.

When you feel the need to go shopping at WalMart with two children, DON'T.

Resist the temptation to give any advice of any kind to anyone while at softball practice. This, of course, applies only to me.

When your daughter invites two teammates over to play, do not frantically explain why your son says "I want to invite my black friend, too". They will not care that his playdate had been scheduled three days prior or that you are suffering from the "don't say black" itis.

Macaroni and cheese doesn't taste the same made with water.

Don't rent Electra if you have body issues. Or any body fat to speak of, for that matter.

Don't pluck your eyebrows while angry.

That's it, folks. For the next five hours, I shall relax in the recliner..........after I cook dinner, finish the five loads of laundry blocking the doorway to the laundry room, vacuum the latest Rice Krispie fiasco, and go a-lurking in the blog world. Good night.

3 Comments:

  • Is that the innocent version of "some of my best friends are black!"?

    And thanks, now you're making me want to see Electra!

    By Blogger The Ugly American, at 6:02 AM  

  • Hey great blog u have here.. good work

    By Blogger Golden Words, at 9:44 AM  

  • Hey, Gal. Whaddaya hear from Lantz these days? Any news?
    You still writing anything besides blog entries? Love your stuff.
    John

    By Blogger Duke_of_Earle, at 10:14 AM  

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