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Monday, April 04, 2005

Fuel Crisis SOLVED

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Leave it to a mother to solve the current crisis.
While the Bush administration is up to their neck with Iraq war and Social Security reform, the gas prices have skyrocketed out of control. It costs more now to fill up the tank than it ever has. This is not acceptable in the World Of Tish, so I offer four solutions that every mom can put to use immediately.

1) Hair Product Remnants: Every bathroom has at least three near empty mousse cans, gel bottles, or anti-frizz containers. We moms can squeeze another day's worth of hair style from each of these products. If we combined all of our hair products into one massive stockpile, it could fuel a squadron of minivans, a fleet of SUV's, and four Coopers for those more stylish moms.

2) Macaroni and Cheese: Why waste the remaining pasta and sauce? Instead of treating the dogs to a Kraft delight, let's transform our children's dinner staple into efficient fuel for the masses. Trucks and motorhomes will require the heavier weight Velveeta and shells, but for the rest of us, plain old mac and cheese will suffice. Unless you are hauling a fifth wheel, then you might want to add some broccoli for extra towing power.

3) Crayons: Wax and paper burn without releasing any toxic fumes, right? Every mom has in her possession at least four tons of broken crayons in various condition. And for extra mileage, those markers can be smelted into the mix. What a liberating feeling knowing that just cleaning the corners of the kids' rooms frees other moms to drive their kids to playdates, preferably not at your home.

4) PlayDough Clumps: When liquified, playdough offers all diesel users a clean alternative to the current fuel while serving an altruistic purpose: ridding every home of the multi-colored balls of all shapes and sizes hidden in the living rooms of America. Even the small bits that are caught in the baby's hair can be put to good use for lawn mowers.

Now that I've solved this issue, what's next? I think we can put dryer lint to use somewhere.

4 Comments:

  • Where does Easy Mac fit in this deal?

    By Blogger The Ugly American, at 7:23 AM  

  • Hi saw you at Joe's place poped over to have you solve our energy crisis! The only crisis is the tycons wonted to faten their bank account! Have a good week!

    By Blogger Joe, at 9:08 AM  

  • I forwarding your entry to my local congressmen. It takes a blogger to solve an energy crisis...every time, I tell you.

    By Blogger ClaudBLOG, at 12:09 PM  

  • Running for President, Tish? You get my vote! Anyone who can handle that gas crisis!

    By Blogger Monica, at 5:20 PM  

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