Welcome to my world - The world of Tish

Friday, April 08, 2005

I’ve been smoke free going on 36 years now…

Ever wanted to feel included in conversations that you jump in without thinking? That could describe my entire life, but I share this as a warning to those that lead with words and no thought.

I just wanted to fit in. I didn’t want any trouble.

“It’s been two weeks since I’ve had a cigarette.” A gum chewing mom commented during softball practice.

“I’m at three months, honey.” Another mother shared.

“This patch must be working,” a father testified as he rolled up his shirt for all to see the Nicoderm appliqué.

Most normal people would smile and congratulate them on their accomplishment. The key word here is normal.

“Yea, I quit drinking three days ago.” I boasted.

The hum of normal conversations halted as all eyes studied me.

“I was up to six a day but knew I had to stop when I almost ran off the road trying to pour one up.” Only I laughed at my admission.

“You drink and drive?” The gum chewer growled.

PSST, the dumbass Fairy whispered in my ear, PSST – you are making an ass of yourself.

“You need to go to a meeting, Tish.” One parent kindly offered.

“I just need to stop bringing it home. If it’s not there, I won’t drink it and neither will the kids. They finished off my last six pack, the little twerps!” Again, I was the only one laughing.

“WHAT KIND OF MOTHER ARE YOU?” The gum chewer bellowed, pointing at me. The entire softball team turned around to watch.

That’s when the ton of bricks fell onto my thick skull, so to speak.

“Dr. Pepper, people, I’m addicted to Dr. Pepper.” My stomach churned at being the only Team Mom in Texas impeached over being a soda pop fiend.

Suddenly, the warmth and care alcoholic Tish earned cooled to an Artic freeze for Caffeine addicted Tish.

The Dumbass Fairy should have whispered earlier, wouldn’t you agree? She either has piss poor timing OR she enjoys watching me make a fool of myself.


  • Tish, that was one of your better ones! Well, I know... Different strokes for different folks. But I coule just feel the chill in the air among the group you described. Beautiful!
    BTW, I don't REALLY get any negative comments. Too few readiers, I guess. Or maybe it's just that I'm such a nice guy and... Nah, we all know that's not it. Anyway, I can delete comments through Blogger without Halo. So far I just haven't wanted to invest the time to put on more bells & whistles.
    Ome last comment: you said, "It's gotta happen for one of us, I would think." NO WAY, girl! It's gotta be BOTH of us! I'm not settling for just one!

    By Blogger Duke_of_Earle, at 6:49 AM  

  • Damn typos! I gotta slow down or proof these comments. sorry.

    By Blogger Duke_of_Earle, at 6:50 AM  

  • You would think that these folks would know you by now. This wasn't the first time you met them was it?

    I feel I know you from reading all this great stuff you write and I would bet that you're pretty much ALWAYS a smart ass!

    I guess you just picked a bad day to quit sniffing glue!

    By Blogger The Ugly American, at 9:02 AM  

  • Ha! I know your type.

    We stop in Riesel on our way to Fort Worth and buy Dr Pepper from the Dublin plant (they sell it at the Texashell there for about $5 a six pack but sometimes it's on sale)

    My brother in law loves his Dr Pepper...

    By Blogger Silly Old Bear, at 10:50 AM  

  • I have a theory about women that drink Dr. Pepper, but in the interest of keeping this at a minimum PG site, I'll keep it to myself!

    It's not a bad thing, at least not from a guys perspective!

    By Blogger The Ugly American, at 12:14 PM  

  • Girl talk about foot in mouth up to your knee! I must admit though I would have been laughing with you.I have a strange sense of humor though so I would have got it right off. Then Again we here in blogland know you a bit better I would imagine then some folks do!
    They will get over it once they realize you were just having some fun:)

    By Blogger thequeen, at 2:57 PM  

  • I so understand-I love Dr. Pepper! Try explaining Whiskey and Mary Jane to people!

    Great post!

    oh for those who read this-Whiskey is my cat (cats like double-ee sounds) and Mary Jane is my son's dog!

    By Blogger Monica, at 8:58 AM  

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