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Sunday, April 17, 2005

So, Eve, can we talk?

Being the first woman, I thought you'd be the perfect person to explain life and what to do after that first mistake to my readers.

How was Eden, really?
It was great. Of course, Adam wouldn't clean up after the animals so I had to but other than that, it was like heaven on earth.

And Adam. What was he like?
Well, Adam had some great qualities and then....well, what do you do when your husband has to name EVERYTHING in the world? And I do mean everything. I know, he was the first one God put down on earth, but come on, where did he get 'hippopotamus'? And would he mark a tree after he used it? Uh, NO! I can't tell you how many times I stepped in his, well, you know, because he didn't have the common courtesy to cover it or even warn me. (sigh) But I did love him, the big lug. We would take long walks over the entire garden and every night he told me I was the prettiest woman in the world. Not too bright, but at least he tried.

At least he didn't break the one commandment.
Yea, well, I guess I won't live that down. What can I say? There I was, out on my morning jog, and I heard a voice. It's not like I killed someone or anything.

Your actions damned mankind to hell, Eve.
Okay, there's that BUT look at what else happened. Moses and Noah had their time in the sun. When Jesus came and died for everyone's sins, didn't that count for something?

Well, I guess so but you're still missing the point. Jesus wouldn't have had to come if you would have just left the apple alone. Do you see that?
Oh, fine! And I guess you blame me for the whole menstruation thing, too! And I suppose I'm responsible for that Paris Hilton, Michael Jackson, and Pamela Anderson? I'm so done with this interview!

Sadly, I could not finish my chat with lovely Eve. I had hoped to ask her opinions on women's lib, breast implants, and the Desperate Housewives phenomenon.

Join me next Sunday when I sit down with Noah's wife and her thoughts on PETA, daughter-in-laws, and that whole flood thing.


  • Adam: We sit here to talk to Virgin Mary...Mary, are you really a virgin?

    Mary: I can;t answer that, now can we talk about my new single, "Immaculate Conception"?

    Adam: No I want to know if you actually had sex or Jesus came out of your head

    Mary: Where's my agent!

    By Blogger mrsmogul, at 1:50 AM  

  • Very, very clever!

    By Blogger WordWhiz, at 8:03 AM  

  • I actually spilled my Slimfast over here laughing at your dialogue with Eve. You're a friggin genuis.

    By Blogger ClaudBLOG, at 12:31 PM  

  • Well Eve did create a lot of problems for you ladies that is for sure. But then again God did know what he was doing- cause he knew that females (most of the time) will not care for her children, but take care ofher mate as well. Beside I have a hard time picturing a man have a baby through his organ...ouch- cut it out Doc please doc kill me now ,,,,
    As for the monthly well it does have its benifits too you know...

    Then when it comes to Paris Hilton and anyone else out in Hollyweird- I have come to the conclusion they are all on DWUGS. And a by product of our public school system - in the highest form of intelligence. About romper room level...

    By Blogger ikw3804, at 12:39 PM  

  • This is brilliant. I loved it. I had a good enough time reading the Team Mom rules (apparently my mom doesn't own a copy), but this just made it all better. That bitch Eve never sticks in an interview very long, though...

    And seriously. 'Hippopotamus.'

    By Blogger Dr. Sauce, at 8:15 PM  

  • I'm looking forward to the next interview!

    By Blogger The Ugly American, at 12:10 PM  

  • S0 - the moral IS "don't eat naked?"

    By Blogger void, at 1:16 PM  

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