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Monday, May 02, 2005

Desperate Housewives Marriage Counseling Services

Welcome to Wisteria Lane, home of the most dysfunctional marriages primetime television has offered in a long time. Here at the Stay Happy Inc. Tish LLC (AKA SHIT, LLC), we offer four different counseling sessions based on this popular series. Each encounter is tailor made to meet your emotional needs within the loving boundaries of an unhealthy relationship. Our special this month is a combination package: Lying Husbands and OCD. Feel free to bring your video camera as you will want to cherish these moments long after the divorce is final.



Denial isn't just a river...Lynette and Tom lead this lively group. Lynette's suspicions of Tom's infidelity can and will elicit paranoia about your own relationship if your spouse takes up for Tom's latest lie of omission. Many conversations will spring up in your session as you watch Lynette struggle with the whole Stay At Home Mom role all the while Tom is seldom home other than to replenish his wardrobe and grab a quickie. We limit this program to only two couples due to the last group where four women beat four men unconscious with their high heels and a Hot Wheel track.


Having your cake and eating it too For those women that find infidelity a hobby, this is the program for you. We take a different approach to those women that find high school boys and Ferrarris a priority. Instead of condemning them like the rest of the rational world, we find that luring her back into the marriage with say, becoming pregnant against her will, works wonders. For the husbands, it's been our experience that their mothers are often control freaks that have mostly negative impact on the marriage of their sons. Due to the graphic nature and sometimes anorexic participants, this program is only offered in the Spring.


Scrubbing down the whips For many of our clientele, fetishes have torn apart their marriages. Rex and Bree have designed their program to address such issues like how clean can a kitchen be, how many leather restraints are too many, and the ever popular holding a grudge over your spouse's head indefinitely. Their dual sessions combine housekeeping hints with bondage techniques that are sure to help any couple in crisis. Bree will explore with those interested just how deep you can bury anger while Rex teaches the meaning of a safe word. This is one of our most popular classes so registration is limited at this time.



One is the loneliest numberSusan, our only divorcee, has graciously volunteered to lead this group into many walls and a few bushes to happiness. Using her background in choosing loser husbands and mysterious boyfriends, participants can learn the finer arts of discussing their sex life with their teenager, taking dating advice from said teenager, and arson as a second hobby. Only curious, bumbling women are allowed to attend this program.

As you can see, we offer a wide range of services to fit the needs of our potential patients. If you have a question about our programs, tune into your local ABC affiliate Sunday evening at 8 pm CST. Thank you from all of us at SHIT LLC.

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