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Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Please Don't Tuesdays

I think Mondays get a bad rap. For the most part,we all return to work, school,and life on Monday. So does everyone else and that means the stakes are even.

It's Tuesday you have to look out for, watch, and yes, even dread.

Tuesday seems innocent enough, the second workday in the week, but look closer. Tuesday is filled with project assignments, job evaluations, and PTA meetings. In her clenched fist, Tuesday holds our hopes for a light work week and slowly crushes them all the while laughing at us, the pitiful mortals.

We can't bargain with her, bribe her, or distract her from her ultimate goal: ruin Wednesday, Thursday, and if she really gets lucky, FRIDAY.

I've resorted to begging, which isn't that humiliating if you consider that no one hears me when I talk to my desk calendar.

Dear Tuesday, please don't...

torture me again with the songs of Jim Nabors in the next patient's home.

send my son to remind me of my stomach pudge by asking if there is a baby in there.

let every patient I have consume beans, cabbage, and a dead rat before I enter their home.

deny me a cold, CORRECTLY CARBONATED Dr. Pepper after treating said patients.

send any more rejections from publishers regarding my novel, A Month Full Of Sundays. I'm up to four now and can't schedule a pity party for another month due to family time conflicts.

force me to take over a t-ball dugout when my son, Casper, has taken his "child from hell" pill against my knowledge.

I hope and pray Tuesday hasn't taken her wrath out on you. The kindness and warmth of Thursday and her older sister Friday can soothe the wounds Tuesday enjoys inflicting on the masses.

Saturday and Sunday? Those lazy hussies. They won't help you with anything except poor lawn care and attempted housecleaning.


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