Welcome to my world - The world of Tish

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

So what time do you close?

Hands down, the best college job in the universe. Well, except for the three years surrounded by college athletes and that summer waiting tables in Dallas. From 1990-1992, I held down a full-time job (yes, that means 40 hours a week) while attending college full-time (yes, that means 15 hours of Pre-Physical Therapy courses). Time was limited to work, school, occasional sleep and required Thursday nights at Eskimo Joe's with my best pal, Brendingo.

Why was the job so great? At the time I had NO idea how important this was but FREE MEDICAL INSURANCE. And I'm not talking the crap that is offered to the masses, it was 100% coverage with no deductibles. I know, why would anyone leave that? Five bucks an hour. For a college girl with four roommates, it was more than enough money.

Copy jockeys, that's what we called ourselves, might be nerds to the naked eye wearing the blue apron BUT consider this: we controlled what was copied, how well it was copied, and to some extent, if the thesis was presentable. In short, we ruled the academic world with a fist full of paper. And it was good, until...

The sign on the door says Open 24 hours. The ads in the paper say Open 24 hours.

So when I answer the phone with the rehearsed "Kinko's, Open 24 hours, This is Tish, can I help you?"

DON'T ASK ME WHAT TIME WE CLOSE!! After the fifteenth call while on the graveyard shift, I had had enough. Being the consummate smartass that I was (and still am), I simply told the next batch of sleepless callers that we closed for fifteen minutes every night for cleaning. Think about that - who closes to clean for fifteen minutes? It doesn't take a monkey to figure out I was joking, but....

Imagine my surprise when I finished vacuuming and there were SEVEN PEOPLE waiting outside in the cold for me to finish.

Then there was the time that five Iraqi/Iranian/etc stood at the self service machine emanating a STANK FUNK that only three dead animals in standing water for six weeks could create. What can I do, I ask a complaining customer? For one moment, that sorority girl earned my utmost respect when she grabbed the Lysol can and proceeded to SPRAY THEM DOWN!

I can't make this stuff up, people. If you ever call me and it's one of those days, you may hear the following:
Tish, open 23 hours. Closed for bathing and screaming between the hours of 9 pm and 10 pm.

6 Comments:

  • WHY WASTE GOOD LYSOL ON THE CAMEL DUNG HEAP.. USE KAROSEEN AND A MATCH... JUST KIDDING... LIKE YOUR STUFF. I REALLY LIKED THE SEVEN DWARVES...

    By Blogger ikw3804, at 8:48 AM  

  • Funny story, Tish. Keep up the good writing!

    By Anonymous Mustang, at 9:11 AM  

  • hah!

    In college I worked at a funeral home. No health insurance, though, but I bet I coulda had burial benefits if needed.

    By Blogger Silly Old Bear, at 9:36 AM  

  • Just have to say I love coming here. Your blog always makes me simle. :-)

    By Blogger FTS, at 3:27 PM  

  • The screaming alone would take me an hour.. can I close for an hour and a half?

    By Blogger Red Clover, at 9:33 PM  

  • Okay, the sorority chick spraying down the stinky guys made me laugh.

    By Blogger Kelley, at 5:06 PM  

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