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Thursday, May 12, 2005

Taxes we won't see BUT SHOULD


Texas is considering a 'sin' tax on cigarettes, junk food, and alcohol to fund our bankrupt public education. Our legislature really needs to wake up and realize that there are SO many more opportunities just screaming "TAX ME MORE!" What would these be, you ask?
Well, let's see:
  • Playgirl, Playboy, Penthouse, etc. If you really want to see your share of silicone and airbrushing, then pony up an extra dollar.
  • Botox Cosmetics. What's another ten dollars? It's not like you can show your dismay, smile, or wrinkle your nose in disgust. Get over it.
  • Excessive Bling Bling. If your jewelry weighs more than a Mastiff, pony up a surcharge of five dollars for every kilogram of gold.
  • National Enquirer, The Star, etc. Before you read about Angelina and Brad, Michael Jackson's hermaphrodite problem, or Princess Diana working at an Arby's in Missouri, add another fifty cents to your tab. What? You know you gotta know.
  • Condoms, Warming KY Gel, contraceptive foam. You have to pay the piper to hear the music, you know?
  • All solicitors that come to the door. This includes vacuum salesmen, Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons, lawn service men, and any person that approaches your home with the intent to sell or convert you. Of course, you will have to have an appropriate receptacle for the required five dollar 'cover charge'.
  • Politicians. No need for explanations here.
  • Hateful clerks/waitresses/patrons. Of course, this will be a subjective tax and may need some revision.


I know Congress is busy with the persecution of John Bolton, flaying Tom Delay, shining Hilary Clinton's presidential bid, and ignoring the taxpayers (their employers). When the pissing and moaning sessions are over, these ideas could be introduced. Between the mud slinging and gossiping, that is.

7 Comments:

  • Hey, these work for me!

    By Blogger Tammy, at 9:59 PM  

  • LMAO . . . you are too much.

    By Anonymous Mustang, at 10:17 PM  

  • Tish, I couldn't help but to link over to you from my blog.
    http://stackingswivel.blogspot.com/

    By Anonymous Mustang, at 10:37 PM  

  • You are on the money once again.
    I really like the one about salesman and Jehova Witness- why I could make a PT living doing that at home.
    As for them to ever have any common sense in Austin-- That will not happen untill people say enough is enough of this foolishness. We are spending entirely to much money on SPORTS and other stuff than education.
    If Parents want their kids in SPorts then they should do it on their dollar not the TAX payers dollars.
    We are killing ourselves doing it he way we are now. Eventually it will get so expensive that the subjects will suffer even more than they do now...

    By Blogger ikw3804, at 9:42 AM  

  • Hilarious as usual, you are still a "Must read" for me in my ever increasing blog backlog.

    By Blogger Eddo, at 12:33 PM  

  • Oh, but there is more:

    A tax on those harboring kudzu.

    A tax on those harboring fire ants.

    A tax on Blogger until it can stay error-free for 12 straight hours.

    Ah, the list goes on...

    By Blogger OldHorsetailSnake, at 7:18 PM  

  • Aw, come on...condoms!?

    By Blogger Sooz, at 7:57 PM  

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