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Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Tish Primavera

Today has been scattered, thoughts whirling in a tornadic dance across a my parking lot mind. Bear with me as I throw my mental spaghetti against the wall to see if it sticks.
  • Robby Knievel is missing the part of the brain that fears pain, death, and normal clothing.
  • Target is secretly taping me in my own home, and places the items I desire on sale just as payday approaches.
  • The whore of my home, Biscuit, is more than likely pregnant with a load of illegitimate pups. If I could find the deadbeat that knocked my princess up, he'd be in for child support, alimony, and joint custody.
  • Eyebrows grow asymmetrical, pluck unevenly, and always have one renegade refuses to lay down with its brethren.
  • Children's sweat after ball games could be the antidote to dirty bombs.
  • Women that attend ballgames in clothing out of a magazine deserve the accidental ketchup spill from a stray child's hotdog.
  • Do not argue with a woman in charge of bats.
  • Eyeshadow always looks better on thin models with makeup artists.
  • Do not buy bras when your son has just learned the word "sexy".
  • A Jehovah's Witness has made it her mission to convert me. That in and of itself should provide more than enough blog fodder for the next month.
  • Burger King commercials really irk me...and have been in a few nightmares. It's that King's head, too big. Gives me the creeps.

After ingesting such a large load of crap, I suggest you take a strong antacid, curl up in the fetal position, and think of puppy names. You did say you wanted one, didn't you?

7 Comments:

  • A Jehovah's Witness has made it her mission to convert me. That in and of itself should provide more than enough blog fodder for the next month.

    CREEPYYYYY.. actually i´m still tremblig after reading that...

    By Blogger Ian-Ivy du Bois, at 10:58 PM  

  • I'm so with you on the Target-thing. How do they know?! And then when I do go for that one sale item, I find TWELVE other things I can't live without! Devils!

    By Blogger Texas Biscuit, at 12:17 AM  

  • The Burger King guy is verrrrry scarrrrrrrrry! Did you see the one where the guy pulls up his blinds and the king is standing right outside the window! That one really freaks me out!!!

    By Anonymous NY Belle, at 1:09 AM  

  • Speaking of Target (et.al.), more is on the way! Sitting at a train crossing waiting for the 91 cars to pass (Yep, I counted 'em), guess how many shipping containers were marked in Chinese! Approximately, most. And every one of those cars has more stuff made in China destined for your homes! You know, the stuff you can't possibly do without. Great news, huh?

    By Blogger Mustang, at 9:04 AM  

  • Isn't there a commercial where the Burger King is in bed with the person? Uh, weird. Although, at least we're all talking about it right now. And the flame-broiled deliciousness of the whopper is hard to deny.

    Hmmm... I gotta go!

    By Blogger Dave Morris, at 10:16 AM  

  • Target is a black hole that sucks a minimum of $100 out of my wallet every time I enter the premises.

    What kind of puppies?

    By Blogger Edgy Mama, at 7:24 PM  

  • That Burger King is scary. Now there is a scary Quaker Oats guy, too. It's that smile...
    lejnd

    By Blogger bornfool, at 11:06 AM  

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