Welcome to my world - The world of Tish

Friday, June 10, 2005

Birthdays gracias, JFK, and virgin strippers

Remind me to NEVER take my birthday off - the blog material is worth the work. Thanks for all of your birthday wishes. I don't feel like I am at the end of my mid thirties, and by all accounts, don't act like it, either.

Today, I was privy to a national secret buried away in the Chainsaw Massacre patient's home. When I ducked my way into the 'home (the ceilings being 5'8" and I am 5'9"), I was first greeted by something only Stephen King himself could create: a Pekenise Dog with cataracts. Think Jodie the Pig from Amityville Horror but a dog with glowing white eyes. I stifled a scream.
As I attempted to avert my eyes from yet another pantiless patient (birthday present #2), she casually says:

You know, I was a stripper in my younger days.

Really. While I am trying to imagine this woman who has a balding poodle named Budweiser held hostage on a chain in the bathroom as an exotic dancer, she continues.

"I danced at the Colony, a VERY shwanky club in Dallas." She motions me closer. "I was one of JFK's special girls."

If you keeping count, please add this next portion to your running total of Tish eating her New Balance. During the last visit, she had shared with me she had seven children....

"So, are you the mother of an unofficial Kennedy?" Joking, smiling, patient and therapist reparte.

"Oh, no! I was a virgin when I married. That's something I saved for my husband. I stripped when I was 14 and 15."

Virgin. Stripper. I'd wager my life's salary this is a rare combination.

The centurion did grope, did brag to his cousin that I asked him to get on the bed, and that I wore him out. Let him have his fun. He's 100, for Pete's sake. And much to my disappointment, I didn't get to see my JW patient. She made no mention of my birthday today when I rescheduled. I will, of course, remind her.

Tomorrow's Saturday Spill may be late, extremely late, or rescheduled. The Wardens, I mean coaches, have scheduled yet ANOTHER tournament somewhere in the hills of Arkansas. If I am not back to this blog by Sunday, call John Walsh, call Jon Bon Jovi, just call someone to find me.


  • I, too, would wager my life's salary on that virgin/stripper combo! lol Happy belated Birthday! If you don't show up by Sunday...I'll be sure to send Bon Jovi for you!

    By Blogger Cara, at 11:53 AM  

  • Happy Belated Birthday!

    By Blogger mrsmogul, at 3:52 AM  

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