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Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Can't lie to a Liar

When I was a teenager, I was what New Age educators would call "imaginatively inventive". In other words, I was a good liar. Whether great or small, insignificant or crucial, my lying abilities had Oscar award potential. I realize now that I shall pay for this power with Drama Diva.

For instance, take my sister's birthday. In our family, birthdays are a big deal. Everyone is expected to buy a birthday present unless unemployed or over the age of 90 (this excluded the Klepto great-grandmother, which if she ever GAVE a present, it would be stolen within 72 hours). Since I was part-time at the TG&Y, a predecessor of Target and WalMart, I should have used my employee discount to buy my then 12 year old sister the coveted Loves Baby Soft travel kit.

But I didn't. Instead I wove together a string of lies that once put together are forever known as the Guatamalen Incident.

Tish: I have something to tell you. (Voice breaking slightly)

Sister: What is it?

Tish: There's a company in Guatamala that makes custom dolls. You send them the photo and they create an identical duplicate. But.. (tears in my eyes)

Sister: What happened? (Hands me a tissue)

Tish: Well, you know how on my (1966) Mustang you have to lock the doors from the inside? (Blows nose) I forgot to lock the passenger door and someone stole it this morning.

Sister: Oh, no! Well, it's not your fault. It's alright, don't cry.

The next day, while eating breakfast, Sister shared the story with my parents. Like a good Mom, my mother smelled a Rat, specifically, a Guatamalen rat.

If only I had used a domestic route.


  • Why is that people tend to believe lies before they believe the truth?

    By Blogger Mustang, at 9:57 AM  

  • I remember TG&Y! I used to blow my $2 allowance there every two weeks on bubble gum and Barbie clothes. My mom would buy all her sewing notions there, and her pet name for the store was "Toys, Guns, & Yo-yo's"

    By Blogger Robin, at 2:24 PM  

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