Welcome to my world - The world of Tish

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Maybe I'm Estrogen-challenged

You would think after being a woman for 36 years, I'd have assimilated to the feminine ways. My lack of woman-ness is most apparent when decorating my home inside and out.

It's not that I don't like furniture, but I don't go all ga-ga over a dining table like my friends. French country versus traditional European garden, I'm lost. Mixing chintz fabrics with coordinating window treatments - aren't they just curtains? Paint is the bane of my existence. Why on earth does it matter if it's semi-gloss, semi-matte, full satin shine? Geez louise, just give me a spray can and let's get this over with.

I think it boils down to choice overload. I cannot make a decision if there are more than four variables. After the first three aisles of knickknacks at Crate and Barrel or Hobby Lobby, my eyes are glazed over. How many pictures of fruit can there possibly be and, more importantly, who actually notices or cares about the difference?

The main selling point for me are handles. Door handles, chest of drawer handles, kitchen knobs - these are all very important to the world of Tish. Once, the hubby and I were test driving new cars and just because the door handles on the vehicle weren't up to my standards, I would not sign off on the purchase.* All furniture that lives in a bedroom MUST not have clanky, dangling handles that could awaken the sleeping mate (usually me). Kitchen knobs must operate with a two or three finger yank, no more or less.

I don't paint my fingernails or toenails. Capri pants are as dressy as I get during the week and we all know how I love high water pants for my winter wardrobe. I spend as much time on makeup as I do listening to Britney Spears. My cologne collection consists of two scents, both purchased by my husband. Does this make me less of a woman? One day very soon, representatives from NOW (National Organization of Women) will knock on my door and revoke my 'woman' card, I just know it.

* I also asked one car dealer if they could replace the spedometer plate for me as I didn't like the new black numbers on a white background. The white numbers on a black background is my thing, you see, and he just stared at me. 'They come from the factory like that, ma'am.'


  • Wow, you and my wife must belong to the same club. But - the black on white gauges *are* easier to read; they just take a little getting used to. Did the dealer actually change them out for you? Believe it or not, that's actually a fairly complicated (and time intensive) change, and that's assuming that they can get a white on black gauge face.

    By Anonymous absent.canadian, at 5:29 AM  

  • So, I should not be asking you if I should paint the powder room wedding white compared to blush white? Shh, don't tell anyone but my home is painted in five different shades of white and I am the only one who seems to care or notice.

    Worry not. They will not revoke your "women only" card. Why? Well, you actually care about knobs...and men need women who care about knobs. (wink)

    By Blogger Michele, at 5:53 PM  

  • You're blog is great! Please keep up the fantastic writing. you're beautiful at it. ANd btw...You're blog is very girly! :)

    By Blogger Humor Girl, at 1:34 AM  

  • But this is my main blog...use this if you want more updates. :)

    By Blogger Humor Girl, at 1:35 AM  

  • well..my mom is just like u.. remember my accsories post?

    why u women r not gay enough??????'
    i love u both! (mom aand u)

    By Blogger Ian-Ivy du Bois, at 5:49 PM  

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