Welcome to my world - The world of Tish

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Movie Manners

If movies are the reflection of our society, a film's audience and their behavior surely defines our social skills.

In the past twenty years, ticket prices have more than doubled. Despite the fact that concession stands have greatly increased their variety and seats are now comfortable compared to the stadium benches of long ago, the problem we face isn't the theatre but its occupants. Maybe if there were guidelines with basic rules of theatre conduct, going to the movies would be more enjoyable.

Children are not to be seen or heard during a movie.
This means no sound, no fidgeting, no kicking of seats, no movement of any kind from the moment the lights dim until the ending credits roll. Take your children to the bathroom before the movie so they won't whine about going pee-pee during the best part of the movie. Crinkling of plastic,loud sipping of a near empty soda pop, or smacking of any candy/popcorn is not allowed at any time. This is a good time to define the word 'children', too. If you count your child's age by months, THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED IN THE THEATRE. It doesn't matter if Junior sleeps through steamcleaning the carpet, do not bring a baby to any movie. Ever.

Save the analysis for coffee AFTER the movie.
If you don't talk during weddings or funerals, have the same respect for others during a movie. And while it may feel like you are in the story, telling the characters what may be coming their way won't change the outcome. Arguing with the villian won't help the hero, but it might get your butt kicked in the parking lot, so take these two words to heart when the lights dim: SHUT UP.

Cellphones: 911 only. Technology is wonderful but can be more than a nuisance when in a theatre. Loud ring tones are one step behind a crying baby and should be dealt with in the same manner - escorted out immediately. Dishing about the movie WHILE the movie is playing is bad form. Dishing about your love life, career, children, goals and aspirations, jokes you've recently heard, or other topics of conversation ARE NOT APPROPRIATE. Do not be surprised when popcorn, soda, or assorted candies are flung in your direction. You've earned it.

So the next time you sit down in the newly designed high back seats with specialized cup holders, look around at the other movie goers. If you are surrounded by small children, some still buckled into their carseats, three grown men with cell phone accessories in their ears, and four women wearing a red hat society clothing, there is only one thing to do:

Wait for the DVD release.

19 Comments:

  • Amen! It's so annoying when I see the lights of people's cellphones in the seats in front of me. It's distracting. Not even just the noise!

    By Blogger Humor Girl, at 12:48 AM  

  • I just happened upon your blog and I love it!!!!
    :)

    By Anonymous billlyryan, at 1:20 AM  

  • You forgot the little punks with laser lights!

    After my first daughter was born, I didn't go to a movie for years! For exactly the reasons you're talking about!

    And the cell phone thing...why do you suppose they call that vibrate mode on your phone the MANNER mode?

    Another good one Tish!

    By Blogger The Ugly American, at 6:50 AM  

  • You sure got this one right hon! I never go to a movie and watch it in peace! And you should up the age limit on kids! lol, my son is 3 and I will not be taking him back to the movies until he is at least 12!

    By Blogger BassFairy, at 7:32 AM  

  • I am going to venture in the land of the unknown this weekend to the War of the World. I hope to see it relative peace by going late afternoon instead of prime time teeny time. While I was teenager eon's ago (30 years ago)i never understood why kids wanted to talk and disrupt a great movie.
    Today they run up and down the aisles like animals. Cell phones don't both me cause I am hard of hearing and the sound in the theater these days is loud anyway.

    I don't go to movies much anymore for several reasons.
    1) Most movies are TRASH
    2) I don't care to support Actors that have no sense in keeping their politics out of their public life. They have the right to express them - but if you are going to put down our country, or miltary you best just shut your hole.
    3)To much emphasis on SEX.
    4)A lot of women actors are worse than men about it.
    5)If it is a true story they will still screw it up.

    Nuff said

    By Blogger ikw3804, at 12:50 PM  

  • AMEN!

    By Blogger Robin, at 2:49 PM  

  • I've sat by all those people.
    DearHusband says I shouldn't strangle people over a $6 movie ticket....
    I'm thinking even it's a $2 movie ticket....
    People come to see a show, if they can't watch the one on the screen, then they can watch me kick their candya--es.
    good blog, found you through genuine.

    By Blogger dazeymae, at 4:32 PM  

  • Why would you go to a movie? Don't you have neighbors? It's cheaper watching them.

    By Anonymous Mustang, at 10:14 PM  

  • I couldn't agree more.

    By Blogger Eddo, at 11:08 AM  

  • I had to say a swear word to some kids one time when I got so upset.

    I posted about it here.

    Man of the House

    By Blogger Eddo, at 11:13 AM  

  • And all of God's children said AMEN.

    I have a thing against the people laughing at horribly gruesome scenes - I don't get those folks, and next time it happens I'm gonna go postal.

    By Blogger Keely, at 11:19 AM  

  • Keely: I gets scarier - these folks have a drivers license!

    By Blogger void, at 1:01 PM  

  • You have hit upon several of the reasons whilst I haven't put a paid sit-down part in a movie theater seat in over 6 years.

    To paraphrase Walter Matthau (The Bad News Bears), "since murder is illegal, a parent with out-of-control kids or a yutz with a ringing cellphone will get me in real trouble".

    I don't need to be a feature on America's Most Wanted, so I await the rental releases ;)

    By Blogger Skunkfeathers, at 3:32 PM  

  • OK, well, I'll give the little urchins a pass on G-rated movies obviously intended for the tot audience, and I'll give schoolagers a little leeway on the movies intended for their age--that means talking to say something was good and a little raucous laughter. Other than that, I agree totally.

    By Anonymous TW, at 8:34 PM  

  • I hear you! We took our newly 8 year old to the movies and she was appalled at all the talking (and there were only eight people in the theater - three of them being us!)

    It's so bad with the cell phones that most of the theaters have that "trailer" with the indians creeping up on the buffalo (or whatever they are) and a cell phone rings. They look off the screen and into the audience and comment about cell phones. Sad that we need something like that, but I have to say they're funny.

    By Blogger Chicka, at 12:09 PM  

  • Ah, I knew I would miss you Tish - ya need to charge for all these wisdomisms (I suggest paypal). I'm hooked yet again.

    My new, more serious blog

    By Blogger ClaudBLOG, at 12:49 PM  

  • Ah, I knew I would miss you Tish - ya need to charge for all these wisdomisms (I suggest paypal). I'm hooked yet again.

    My new, more serious blog

    By Blogger ClaudBLOG, at 12:49 PM  

  • What you said! *g*

    By Blogger Larissa, at 9:38 AM  

  • argh...i just went to see a movie a few weeks ago and a teenage girl actually answered her phone in the theater and had a compete conversation!!!

    i couldn't believe it!

    By Blogger Ali, at 10:14 AM  

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