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Sunday, June 12, 2005

What does 3AM, two sore feet, and one sore throat mean??

It means we won the tournament! When I say 'we', I mean the girls, of course. While I feel like I played on the field with them, I did not score a run or make an out. I did, however, become embroiled in a day and night long drama the likes of which Lifetime and Hallmark Channels should option right now for the fall season.

Say, for argument's sake, that every parent/guardian is assigned certain foods/drinks for the good of the group. Thirteen players, twelve families, four coaches in total. Now say that one or two people bring with them oh, five to six extra half siblings, cousins, nephews, nieces, etc. In a fair world, these guardians would bring sufficient food to cover for their tagalongs, right? Oh but no. Now imagine these additional heathens have the deceptive skill of an undercover FBI agent - food only disappears when the team is playing, coolers are raided without care, and blankets are muddied on purpose.

I think I will rewrite the Team Mom rules to include a new commandment: Team Moms will and shall discipline any or all children, teenagers, and other extraneous individuals within a ten yard radius of the team's camp.
Using my angry voice, I had five stragglers bluffed into submission. One step out of line, BAM, I was all over it. The last two, aged 9 and 12, challenged me with no eye contact, defiance, and sheer disrespect. It would be nice to say their mother/aunt/cousin took care of the situation, but no such luck. Her attitude was equal to or even worse than the children. Apples don't fall far from the tree is a true adage.

Another drama that has been unfolding all year is a woman that refers to herself in third person. Nothing irritates me more than someone who thinks they are a separate entity unto themselves. Then to watch her flirt with a married umpire shamelessly is more than unnerving, it's downright sickening. The last time I looked, a child's softball tournament wasn't on Cosmo's top five pick-up places. Unless you are looking for a married father.

The final part of the saga was fought on the field. Every parent that roots for their child will at one time or another get out of hand. I walk that fine line every game BUT a coach? I don't think so. One coach accused us of cheating (as they lost 8-3) in front of our fans and another local team's coach wouldn't shake our coaches' hand after we won the semi-final game. Something about beating them. I guess if we were in Florida or California, there wouldn't be a score keeper or a winner. Sure wouldn't want to crush a child's spirit with a little thing like competition.


Sunday's Bible interviews should resume next week. I'd like to hear from all of YOU as to who you'd like to know more about. I think I'm inching my way up the Old Testament but am not opposed to the New Testament ladies. Just trying to stay in a groove, that's all.


  • Paloma's team played a soccer match against a team with the coach from he!!. I'd read about them, but this was the first time I'd seen one in person. We beat them, and then he got thrown out of the tournament the next weekend. And he was doing all this with an brain aneurysm he was to have surgery on after the season. Just goes to show you...

    By Anonymous TW, at 5:24 PM  

  • I have to admit I don't have my kids in sports. I would like them to be, I just can't afford it.The other thing of course is that they have no interest in it at all. I remember however when I played soccer and basketball. Some parents where N-U-T-S!!!!!
    I would like to read an interview with Jacob. If you don't mind interviewing him:)

    By Blogger thequeen, at 12:32 AM  

  • My son's soccer team has never won a game. We tied once. At least we have never been accused of cheating!

    By Blogger WordWhiz, at 8:06 AM  

  • I totally agree. If you know you are bringing extra people to a tournament you make sure that you bring enough food for them, so they are not taking away from the team.

    You were right to be pissed!

    By Blogger Boarder Girl, at 10:12 AM  

  • You're not getting tooooo confrontational are you???

    I'd like the read deal on Mary Magdalene...I mean, after reading the Da Vinci code...I don't know what to think any more!

    By Blogger The Ugly American, at 6:25 PM  

  • Kids' sports gets so outta hand. I barely go because I feel like I need to be on crowd control.

    By Anonymous feet, at 7:02 PM  

  • If you're thinking of NT characters, you could "interview" Thomas, but I doubt he'd have much to say. :-)

    By Blogger Bill, at 2:18 AM  

  • I've written so much about my hatred of bringing after game snacks (because of the work involved and the sibling gobbling problem) that people started finding my site by Googling "post game snacks" etc. The snack searches were second only to the porn searches that got people to my site, not because I write porn, but because I wrote a couple of posts that dealt with body parts (my kids' and mine).

    Enjoy your blog!!

    Anne www.tinykingdom.typepad.com

    By Blogger Anne www.tinykingdom.typepad.com, at 6:45 PM  

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