Welcome to my world - The world of Tish

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

In planning for today's post, many ideas floated in and out of my mind during the daily drive.

I could write about the flea infested home where I spent thirty scratchy minutes surrounded by of all things, CHIHUAHUAS. We all know by now how I feel about that breed of dog: great jerky if you can find it.

I would write my latest political essay on Ameri-qu'ran, but I need more time to outline my thoughts. It will involve burkas, a retooled Constitution, and boys only public education.

In light of my mother-in-law's hospitalization, I should write about the most recent crisis. It seems that despite all the medical advances in the 21st century, a certain floor in a certain Little Rock hospital cannot identify not only the cause of her problem, but also treat her with a modicum of respect. A night nurse, who I will hereto refer to as TEP SUB (Total Elite Premo Super Ultra Bitch), accused my mother in law of hiding drugs in her room. Not only did she accuse her, but she searched her room, her overnight bag, and her purse. When I say searched, I mean she made her empty her purse, copied down everything including credit card numbers, and after all of that, had the nerve to call her a LIAR to her face. Uh, I thought she was in the hospital, not an intervention! If that wasn't enough, TEP SUB commented to my MIL (with a central line in her neck and oxygen in her nose) that some people just like to be sick...maybe she just wants attention.

ATTENTION? How many people do you know want an endoscope, proctoscope, multiple IVs and blood draws around the clock? Unless I'm missing something and my MIL is a complete nutjob, she's not in this for the attention. I'm sure she faked her way into TWO HEART VALVE REPLACEMENTS, TOO, YOU IGNORANT TEP SUB!

One of the reasons I fell in love with my husband was his mother. She was vibrant, outgoing, and full of life. Ten years later, she has grown weaker physically but her spirit is still intact. Intact enough to tell TEP SUB to 'get your ass out of my room and don't ever come back'. Good thing I wasn't there or it wouldn't have been the Hulk appearance, but more like this:

Do they make pleather for flat butts? The glasses, cool as they are, might get in the way of the death Tish glare. Spinkicking and wallwalking would come in handy but hospital rooms don't have the room required for such a dramatic statement. I will settle for pointing my crooked finger (damaged by a snapping turtle as a child, long story) and a widened stance.

TEP SUB, get ready.

12 Comments:

  • UNBELIEVABLE. I'm so glad MIL showed TEB SUB the door. I'm so sorry she had to deal with someone like that.

    By Blogger Donna, at 9:45 PM  

  • Someday I might feel compelled to talk about the nurses that have "cared" for both of my grandmothers. Most of them were excellent but a couple...

    Hopefully I'll just keep it to myself.

    By Anonymous tommy, at 9:46 PM  

  • How awful, to be treated like that. I'm glad that she still has the spunk in her to kick the beeotch out of her room! What a cow!

    By Blogger Nickle Annie, at 9:56 PM  

  • Beside the fact that she is a complete bitch, isn't taking her credit card numbers just a little dodgy? Shouldn't the hospital know that they are employing someone that is potentially taking money from the patients?

    I hope they can disgnose and treat her quickly so she can get the hell out of that place!

    By Anonymous Toryssa, at 7:05 AM  

  • Kick her ass and march yourself to the administrator!

    By Blogger poopie, at 9:12 AM  

  • Jeez. They do that to your poor MIL, and my MIL IS a hypochondriac and they jump all over themselves treating every little thing she comes up with. She had three pages of undiagnosed allergies and unprescribed drugs when she went in for her knee surgery and the hospital went crazy trying to deal with it all. The Hunter said he didn't think any of it was real. I'm sorry she (and you and your family) had to go through that.

    By Anonymous TW, at 10:03 AM  

  • Sounds like a bedpan and TEP SUB's head are a fit awaiting forceful placement.

    A used one sounds about right.

    I totally agree to that a visit to the administrator is called for; copying down all credit card numbers?

    TEP SUB is not only pond scum, she's crooked.

    But don't forget the bedpan in this equation...

    By Blogger Skunkfeathers, at 10:37 AM  

  • Oh my gosh! What a total psycho nurse. I can't believe that she still has a job after that! And what is with her writing down your MIL's credit card numbers? Sounds kinda sketchy to me! I am glad that with all the tubes going in and out of her she still told the TEB SUB how it is! Good for her!

    By Blogger Summer, at 11:55 AM  

  • I've seen idiot nurses before but this is BAD!

    By Blogger Robin, at 12:26 PM  

  • She copied her CC #'s? That is illegal and should be reported to the head of her department and possibly law enforcement.

    By Blogger J, at 1:55 PM  

  • WOW, I sure hope TEP SUB doesn't use those credit card numbers to her advantage. That is absolutely against every law I know of. That particular TEP SUB would be out of a job.

    By Blogger thequeen, at 7:30 PM  

  • Wow - what a horrible story, but what a great lady your MIL is! You too, btw.

    By Anonymous Melanie Lynne Hauser, at 8:03 PM  

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