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Monday, July 25, 2005

Hollywood: Our best bet for fighting terror

Thanks to Live Aid 8, there will be more food, money, and supplies for Africans in need. While this is and has been a noble effort by our media elite, it's time to utilize them in the most important mission: saving our civilization.

It's no secret that Islamofascists hate all that we stand for, but at the root of their hatred for us is the freedom women enjoy, and for that matter, homosexuals as well. In their minds, women should be not only submissive, but treated in such a way that is beyond degrading, humiliating, and humane. As for homosexuals, the terrorists see them as target practice, plain and simple. What is so frightening is that these animals believe with all of their hearts that their acts of terrorism are justified, that they will go to Heaven and be greeted by countless virgins for their sacrifice.

This is where Hollywood comes into play. Terrorists cannot become martyrs if unclean, unless a cleric changes the rules for them. Terrorists abhor our women in power, in entertainment, and the acceptance of homosexuality in mainstream population. If each entertainer, Madonna, Lil Kim, Elton John, and the like, were to donate a vial of blood, we could use it to our advantage.

Imagine a detained radical Islamic terrorist sitting in an interrogation room. He refuses to divulge where the next sleeper cell is or who has a suicide bomb strapped to their body. He scoffs at our politically correct interrogation procedures, because in his world, beheading and torture are the norm. Awaiting him are 72 virgins, unlimited joy, and paradise for his sacrifice if he stays pure to his cause and faith.

Enter the officer with a vial of blood and a syringe.

"It's simple, Omar. You either tell us what we want to know or," Madonna's photo emerges from the officer's pocket, "you can enjoy Madonna's DNA pulsating throughout your entire body. Forever."

Talk about unclean! Can't you just picture the sweat beads forming on his brow, his heart rate doubling, and his soul frozen in fear? All that he has worked for would be extinguished with a simple injection of a Top Forty singer's body fluid.

I've read somewhere that dogs are also filthy creatures to this faction of hate. Maybe we should all donate our canine's fluids to this cause. Forget water torture, temperature changes, and sodium penthol. This tactic could produce results far greater than bamboo shoots and electrical currents to the genitials.

For any celebrity or singer willing to fight the war on terror, I will gladly purchase all of your movies/CDs as will every American grateful for your contribution. Think about it, will you?


  • What a twisted, sick and mean idea! (I knew I liked you). ;)
    Not a bad idea there, Tish.. not bad, t'all.

    By Blogger steelcowboy, at 6:18 PM  

  • Wow, why hasn't anyone thought of this before...

    By Blogger FTS, at 8:16 PM  

  • What a brilliant plan!

    By Blogger Sleeping Mommy, at 7:45 AM  

  • Just tell me where to mail Ally da pup's stuff and it is SO there!

    By Blogger LisaBinDaCity, at 11:19 AM  

  • I could always get my pet rock to give up some granules (I think he *is* a kidney stone), and mislabel it as 'Spam', another item Islamofascists loath.

    I suppose that'll get the ATCLU* tweaked.

    I like it all the more ;)

    *Arab Terrorist Civil Liberties Union

    By Blogger Skunkfeathers, at 12:52 PM  

  • all we have to do is tangle some pork and or bacon in front of them and tell them they will be forced to eat it ...yeah ...

    By Blogger Gina, at 6:38 PM  

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