Welcome to my world - The world of Tish

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

War of the Eyebrows




Forget Survivor or Big Brother for entertainment! Tom Cruise's war with Brooke Shields has got reality television beat for summer ratings. While I wasn't a big fan of Tom's before this latest stunt, his attack on Brooke Shields went beyond the pale of normal celebrity idiocy and has earned Tom a plaque in the Dumbass Hall of Fame.

Don't worry about offending, say, HALF of your viewing audience, Tom. Mothers around the world that teeter on the edge of sanity after days of labor won't mind you lecturing how it's all about vitamins or we just need to work out. It's too bad you couldn't have reached Andrea Yates in time with a bottle of Centrum and Denise Austin's latest exercise video. I am positive your years of filming movies like "Risky Business", "Top Gun", and the "Mission Impossible" Series have provided not only a little pocket money but the infinite wisdom that comes from years of reading books written by a sci-fi author on how, what, where, when and why our lives are in shambles. Of course, your example of marital bliss is one that we all hope our children can emulate: two marriages and now an engagement to a woman eighteen years your junior. What you've lost with female fans you can certainly shore up with the male mid-life crisis crowd.
It's one thing to espouse your opinion, but to represent oneself as an authority on such a personal subject...it's a little like me ranting about Viagra needing to be outlawed. Who am I to say it doesn't work for people? Better yet, who are you to tell women, something you can never be, what is right for them in one of most difficult and wonderous times in their lives?

And Tom, do you really believe we come from aliens and are reincarnated? I have a hard time putting any stock into your religion after watching it's foundation played out in this timeless classic. Come on, aliens? I'd sooner believe my Jehovah Witness stalker than that.


If it weren't for the kindness of your fans, you would be selling insurance somewhere in Iowa or God forbid, studying as Tony Robbins stand-in for his next rally. Remember, Tom, you sort of work for us. Like the court jester or Shakespeare, you derive your income from us. So don't insult us. And don't mess with Brooke. She has better eyebrows.

10 Comments:

  • Ha ha!

    Tom is always good for a laugh. I really don't take him seriously (or, say, any more seriously than any other actor who has made a fortune taking off their shirt and quipping funny lines)

    Also, is "quipping" a word? If it is, did I spell it right?

    Oops, sorry, off on a tangent.

    Anyway, Tish, if you wanna CD I'll be happy to make one and send it your way...

    By Blogger Silly Old Bear, at 9:00 PM  

  • What the hell happened to make that man go off the deep end like that?

    By Blogger The Horny Wife, at 10:34 PM  

  • Good for you..Tom Cruise...who knew he was an expert on all subjects!

    However, Tish, I beg to differ...(shhh....) Big Brother IS big entertainment and Monica will be right there tomorrow night watching it!

    YAY! I know...I heard there might be a 12-step program but no one's given me any information.

    By Blogger Monica, at 12:35 AM  

  • Tom's idiocy continues to amaze me.

    I for one was thrilled to see Brooke taking him to task in the an editorial piece for the New York Times.

    By Blogger Sleeping Mommy, at 8:58 AM  

  • Big egos in little men demand regular exercises in open mouth/insert foot.

    'Nuff said ;)

    By Blogger Skunkfeathers, at 11:29 AM  

  • i live in a bubble...what did he say??
    anyway, i just canĀ“t stand him....

    By Blogger Ian-Ivy du Bois, at 11:45 AM  

  • This whole Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes business is just getting ridiculous. People need to tell them to shut up.

    By Blogger Tawcan, at 11:52 AM  

  • i'm finding this whole Tom Cruise fiasco fascinating. i can't turn away.

    he's crazy as a loon, though. definitely.

    By Blogger Ali, at 12:04 PM  

  • Hey there, I just found your site. I'm a Southern Gal as well living in NYC!

    Really fun post. Tom needs to STFU! BIG TIME.

    I love all these "media experts" who say all this hasn't hurt his career. yea right, sure :-)

    By Blogger LisaBinDaCity, at 4:09 PM  

  • You are right. Tom Cruise is short. I mean, wrong.

    What else is there to say?

    By Blogger Mamacita, at 3:29 AM  

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