Welcome to my world - The world of Tish

Monday, August 22, 2005

Croc shmock, can you cook?

Dear Steve,
As an avid fan, I've watched you for years on Animal Planet. Your ease with crocodiles and other dangerous beasts is mystifying and somewhat scary to most normal people.
Not to be critical, but I think you've exhausted the animal kingdom for material. Even children are desensitized to the snake bites and gator charges you have endured, so I would like to propose some new adventures for you and your lovely wife. A myriad of challenges, if you will, that could entice new fans as well as thrill your long time admirers.

The Crocodile Hunter Meets WalMart: In this episode, Steve faces his nemesis, the WalMart Sporting Goods Manager all decked out in reptilian apparel. In his quest for twenty items from the sales aisle, he is confronted by three large women hellbent on beating him to the prize. Stay tuned for Steve's confrontation with Laverne and her twin sister Malvern.

The Crocodile Hunter Diaries: Slumber Party: Terri Irwin joins her husband on his most dangerous expedition to date, chaperoning a slumber party of six nine year old American girls fresh from a day at the mall. Watch the pink feathers fly as he refuses to wear the dress-up boa and Terri is reduced to a weeping blob in the corner.


Assignment: Crocodile Hunter JobShare: Steve's emotional and mental grit is tested to the limit as he shadows a home health physical therapist for a week. To his horror, he is forced to listen to the ramblings of a former debutante now beginning Alzheimer's patient rant about bad romances and, gasp, her recipe for alligator chili.

As you can see, the possibilities are endless and can only increase your ratings. Imagine, you and Terri waiting tables at Chinese Buffet restaurant on the same night Ultimate Fighting Championships are held...or serving as a sales associate for Catherine's, a plus sized clothing shop. It's cutting edge, it's reality TV pushed to it's limits...frankly, it's got you written all over it.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to seeing you discussing the virtues of collegan at the next BeautiControl party as the season premiere.

8 Comments:

  • Amen sister! I've had enough of "see this man-eating croc? He's a bit irate! Let's just poke him in the eye and see what he does!"

    Freak. I love that he can laugh at himself, though I wonder if that's really what it is, or that he's just that stupid to think people actually like him and not his stupidity. (I have yet to hear someone say his movie was "deep" and "insightful" rather than "what a jackass he is. It's hilarious!" LOL!)

    Oh Steve-O, will you have my babies?

    By Blogger Chicka, at 8:33 PM  

  • That dude is CRAZY! Goob mentioned Steve-o, and I thought she meant the guy from Jackass. LMAO, I guess it's all the same, though!

    By Blogger seeingdouble, at 11:37 PM  

  • I'd TOTALLY watch the Walmart one! Crikey, watch as we make our way through these dangerous aisles!

    By Blogger Natsthename, at 7:53 AM  

  • I'm partial to Jeff Corwin myself..

    By Blogger Kath, at 8:05 AM  

  • I love it! I would indeed watch the Walmart and Jobshare episodes. I've always wondered how he would deal with everyday people and everday situations, however mundane they may be. (cuz there can be adventure in the mundane!)

    By Blogger Chickadee, at 9:32 AM  

  • I think you should refine the Walmart episode just a tad: for the sense of drama, danger, and high stakes tension, make his visit to Walmart on the evening of December 23. To make it really fun, make it for the after holiday sales on December 26.

    Those are times when a 'mall' becomes a 'maul', and Steve-o will get to find out just how 'real world' his skills are in a semi-hand-to-hand-combat (x many) scenario truly are.

    On again onward, into the Valley of the Shadow of Death At the post Xmas Half-Off Table....LEFT OBLIQUE, FIX CREDIT CARD AND CHARGGGGGE!

    By Blogger Skunkfeathers, at 12:59 PM  

  • How odd, I left a comment and it never showed up.

    Hmnn.

    Anywho - Love this post - too funny. I can just picture these scenes. We already own a cd where he goes on safari with the Wiggles so can this be far behind?

    Thanks for blogrolling me, I have done the same!

    By Blogger Idgie @ the "Dew", at 3:31 PM  

  • lol!!! you had me laughing on this one. You truly put out the ultimate challenge.

    By Blogger Live, Love, Laugh, at 2:30 AM  

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