Welcome to my world - The world of Tish

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

If it ain't one ticket, it's a warning

If you've never watched Supertroopers, you've missed the most hilarious first fifteen minutes of all time in any movie.
For those who have, I was pulled over by a FARVA clone today. Before any rumors spread about me and speeding, I wasn't. The cruise control was set on 70 in a 70 MPH four lane highway.

'Farva' pulled me over for occupying the passing lane. He strutted up to my door, all 140 pounds and 5'6" of Texas Khaki. Far be it from me to criticize a person's height, no one can control that, but doesn't it seem a little on the funny side to look down to a highway patrolman? Unless you are driving an 18-wheeler, eye to eye contact would be the norm, would it not?

In the span of five minutes, I learned that he was unmarried, didn't watch TV or have a computer, had no children to speak of, and enjoyed two-stepping. Um, officer, maybe you didn't see the wedding ring on my hand or the four Power Rangers in the backseat, but I am definitely married with children.

As he eyed the oncoming traffic, his chest swelled with pride. "Yep, I pulled over three cars in a row today for going over 75."
Wow, I kept to myself. Good to know our taxes are paying for 'Farva' to harass everyone on HWY 59.
While he wrote my warning, the ball in the back of my SUV caught his eye. "What's that for? You bounce on it?" He goose-honk laughed at his own joke.

His interest perked up at my career of choice. Leaning onto the car door, he confided,"You know, I could have been one of them therapists." He swabbed his nose with a closed fist and continued. "But the force called to me, so here I am. Protect and serve, that's me."

Uh huh, well I've got another patient to see so thanks for the warning.

He patted my bumper before I sped away.

I wonder if he sat on a seat cushion to see over the dashboard.

That was mean, I'm sorry.

But still, don't you?

9 Comments:

  • I LOVE supertroopers...

    And also... there's Reno 911 on comedy central which is also hysterical.

    By Blogger Snidget, at 8:16 PM  

  • Are we sure that this munchkin wasn't on an episode of Reno 911?

    Sure sounds like it.

    Granted, it would have made a great scene in the aforementioned, if you'd whipped out a bedpan, put it over his inflated head, and banged on the side of it with one of those stick things they use to play the musical bars for three year olds.

    But I have a sick sense of humor, and it wouldn't of been me getting arrested for child-in-a-uniform abuse.

    But it sure makes for a fun image ;)

    By Blogger Skunkfeathers, at 9:28 PM  

  • I had to LMAO at skunkfeather's choice of retribution! If only I was so innovative...

    By Blogger Cori, at 10:01 PM  

  • Are you sure that wasn't Barney Fife? Did he happen to keep his one bullet in his pocket?

    By Blogger Mamacita, at 11:06 PM  

  • Um, officer, maybe you didn't see the wedding ring on my hand or the four Power Rangers in the backseat, but I am definitely married with children
    AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

    By Blogger Ian-Ivy du Bois, at 6:40 AM  

  • No I've never seen Supertroopers, but I have watched enough episodes of The Andy Griffith show to think of Barney. Did the trooper have a Barney quality to him?

    By Blogger Chickadee, at 10:49 AM  

  • What a funny mental image you created! And I never saw the movie!

    By Blogger WordWhiz, at 1:22 PM  

  • hi - new to your blog - and that was a great introduction... oh, i'll be back..

    By Blogger jill, at 7:55 PM  

  • Great descriptions... I totally saw it all in my mind's eye -- funny stuff! LOL!

    By Blogger Leslie, at 2:16 AM  

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