tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79713382011-08-16T16:45:21.798-04:00A southern woman's view of writing, family life, physical therapy, and general insanity that anyone can identify with over the age of 30. Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.comBlogger3001100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1127858802702469162005-09-27T17:03:00.000-05:002005-09-27T17:08:06.240-05:00

If you are still coming here, you aren't going THERE, which is such a shame. You've missed out on all of the big Tish news, like new patient stories, Drunkette's new remodeling of our home, and other fabulous posts that can only make your life better. Update your blogroll now.

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1127061927009597062005-09-18T11:41:00.000-05:002005-09-18T11:45:27.020-05:00

I see you are still clicking the old Tish blog for the latest news, gossip, and general nonsense.If you haven't been contacted by email, then forgive me. We've had quite a bit going on here, the least of which is a car driven INTO my bedroom. Want more details??WWW.TISHASHARP.COMThe car fiasco is in the August archives, complete with pictures and commentary. Please update your blogrolls, light

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1124926175995480952005-08-24T18:20:00.000-05:002005-08-24T18:29:36.003-05:00

As it is in real life, my blog has taken a different path.I will continue to check in here, but for the record, The World According to Tish has officially relocated to:www.tishasharp.comI will try to visit everyone on my blogroll and give personal invitations, but if you are reading this, as they say down in these parts: You've done been invited, just don't forget the tater salad.Please update

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1124833848432516552005-08-23T16:13:00.000-05:002005-08-23T16:50:48.520-05:00

Don't get caught alone oh no GhostbustersWhen he comes through your door, unless you've just got some more I think you better call Ghostbusters.Ooh... who you gonna call (Ghostbusters)Who you gonna call (Ghostbusters)Ah, I think you better call (Ghostbusters) From the moment a child can understand, we teach them their parents will protect them. Sometimes it is in the form of a swat on the

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1124753368986256942005-08-22T18:04:00.000-05:002005-08-22T18:29:28.996-05:00

Dear Steve, As an avid fan, I've watched you for years on Animal Planet. Your ease with crocodiles and other dangerous beasts is mystifying and somewhat scary to most normal people.Not to be critical, but I think you've exhausted the animal kingdom for material. Even children are desensitized to the snake bites and gator charges you have endured, so I would like to propose some new adventures

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1124635674156279252005-08-21T09:19:00.000-05:002005-08-21T09:47:54.436-05:00

God.There it is, ladies and gentlemen. This three letter word has sparked more debate and caused more controversy than any Hollywood screenwriter could invent.What's ironic is our country was founded on principles found in a book solely written by (divinely, of course) and about God. The Ten Commandments pretty much cover all that is deigned law in the present day, but God forbid we have them

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1124502372726951932005-08-21T08:45:00.000-05:002005-08-19T22:55:18.536-05:00

Today we have the pleasure of Deborah, the Bible's only female judge in the Old Testament. Lucky for us she is between cases at the moment.Deborah: Who let you in here?Tish: Your bailiff, Mr. Byrd. We had an appointment for this interview, remember?Deborah: DON'T TELL ME WHAT I HAVE TO DO, YOUNG LADY!Tish: Uh, yes ma'am. We had an appointment--Deborah: ZIP IT! Do I smell like turnips to

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1124414052946361202005-08-18T19:44:00.000-05:002005-08-18T20:14:12.990-05:00

As the world contemplates the future effect of the Israeli withdrawal from Gaza, the neverending media focus of Mrs. Sheehan and her anti-war protest, and now Madonna's horseriding accident, there are other issues that beg the question WHY.Why do some women wear full makeup when going to the gym? Clogged pores aside, isn't the whole reason for exercising to sweat? Maybe it's just me, but

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1124324986399179452005-08-17T19:02:00.000-05:002005-08-17T19:29:46.410-05:00

If you've never watched Supertroopers, you've missed the most hilarious first fifteen minutes of all time in any movie.For those who have, I was pulled over by a FARVA clone today. Before any rumors spread about me and speeding, I wasn't. The cruise control was set on 70 in a 70 MPH four lane highway.'Farva' pulled me over for occupying the passing lane. He strutted up to my door, all 140 pounds

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1124234115809578602005-08-16T17:33:00.000-05:002005-08-16T18:15:15.890-05:00

Day Two in HellThe world as a whole is against me.Maybe it's my imagination, but was today "National Drink Dr Pepper Day"? At least fifty people imbibed the sugary concoction in front of me without any semblence of shame. Three women standing in line to pay the standard Texaco $100 gastank charge bragged about the perfect ratio between carbonation and syrup, as if I needed to hear that! A group

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1124141561671236322005-08-15T16:19:00.000-05:002005-08-15T20:36:58.260-05:00

It's official. The divorce papers were filed yesterday, and I, for one, am happy. This love/hate relationship was doing nothing for me. Sure, at first he seemed harmless. He'd entertain me with his bubbly personality and then energize me all day with his charm. It was nothing for us to meet three or four times a day.But something has changed. He doesn't act the same. What once was enjoyable

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1124075492282807292005-08-14T21:23:00.000-05:002005-08-14T22:11:35.520-05:00

Unfortunately, there were no PB and B rollups but to my surprise there were two corn concoctions that were either desserts or main entrees.Notice the Budweiser lights? Yep, those are pool tables transformed into delicious buffet tables. There was a chicken enchilada dish that screamed EAT ME NOW. Four different deviled egg containers begged for my attention. And of course who can miss the bag of

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1123812996907378542005-08-11T21:01:00.000-05:002005-08-11T21:16:36.933-05:00

Every year on the second Saturday in August, a distant branch of my family tree gathers at a bar. Yes, I said BAR. Nestled in the backwoods of a small Oklahoma town sits Skinny's, a basic hole in the wall joint. Two pool tables are transformed to a buffet, and the full horse trough becomes a swimming pool for around ten children of all ages. A fire hazardous, rickety trampoline made in the

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1123638705922090742005-08-09T20:25:00.000-05:002005-08-09T20:51:46.006-05:00

You know your day is going to be interesting when someone tells you out of the blue that they have built a local midget a home. One of my patients detailed all of the modifications for the home, and just when I thought I wouldn't laugh outloud, he says..."You know, their little butts fit right in the palm of my hand."Something about a 9o year old man measuring out the width of a midget's rear

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1123535573145550762005-08-08T15:56:00.000-05:002005-08-08T16:16:59.286-05:00

How does that old saying go, you can please some of the people some of the time? Well, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, last night I experienced my first flaming comments. Many of my blogger friends have disclaimers on the sidebars warning against malicious comments but it wasn't until last night that I truly considered adding my own.Stupid me, I deleted the comments from the post . The

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1123445393947890962005-08-07T14:42:00.000-05:002005-08-07T15:09:53.960-05:00

Hollywood, 2055 At this year's Annual Academy Awards, every actress worth her salt will be wearing the fashion of the century- Burkas. Once thought as denigrating to women, today's elite embrace not only the full coverage that Burkas provide, but also have integrated this new Conservatism into Hollywood. No longer do we worry about nudity, foul language, or promiscuity. Each movie, approved by

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1123392123254368162005-08-07T00:02:00.000-05:002005-08-07T00:22:03.260-05:00

There are geniuses amongst us, people. They walk into courtrooms everyday wearing flowing black robes. With the wisdom of Solomon, these invaluable individuals are our last defense against the wicked and evil that walk in the shadows of our society.Or so we thought.On Wednesday in Judge Rose Guerra Reyna’s 206th state District Court Robert Wayne Thompson, 46, pleaded no contest to aggravated

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1123293310201495692005-08-05T20:32:00.000-05:002005-08-05T20:55:10.213-05:00

Illegal immigration. Once a romantic idea, crossing over the border for a better life and opportunities but with national security concerns , border crossings are tantamount to pre-terroristic attacks. A few Islamic militants can afford to bribe the already poverty stricken immigrants on their journey to the Promised Land. Problem is, once they arrive here with their travelling companion, all

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1123126318047694352005-08-03T17:38:00.000-05:002005-08-03T22:31:58.123-05:00

Apart from the serial killer episodes, I've learned quite a bit about representing myself from Dick Wolf. It's too bad that the Mr. Bald Short Policeman couldn't have been Chris Noth, though. I would have volunteered for a pat-down and possible strip search (just kidding...kind of.)Phrases like "I object" "Just answer yes or no, please" and "May I approach the witness, your Honor?" will find

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1122940163372040622005-08-01T18:31:00.000-05:002005-08-01T18:49:23.436-05:00

Monday at 5:43 pm.It's not a good idea to pull Tish over when:Drama Diva and Casper directly defied a simple request FOUR TIMES.The Regional Funk Stank Patient Convention held their annual meeting at every patient's home that I visited today.A patient that uses Scotch Snuff accidently missed her spit cup...and now I need new scrub pants. (Yes, you read it right, it was a woman dipping snuff!)The

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1122756993260341522005-07-31T15:46:00.000-05:002005-07-31T16:43:01.263-05:00

Karin told me I couldn't use my lefthandedness as an excuse to poorly paint. I beg to differ.It's not the paint's fault, or the brushes, or even the pan. Sherwin-Williams provided me with two gorgeous colors, Sandtrap and Nice White, but try as I may, I seem to drip countless droplets onto the carpet. Good thing we are replacing it soon with laminate flooring.It's a sad day in the home

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1122605788645891002005-07-28T21:27:00.000-05:002005-07-28T21:56:28.656-05:00

Day four and I am still Haloscan-less at home. The computer at work has no problem, so now I'm at a loss. My knights in shining armor, Steel Cowboy and Exscientia, are helping me with this malfunction. And just so you know, Haloscan still emails me every comment, I just cannot access them from my blog or its site. SO NO TALKING ABOUT ME (unless it's good and then chat away, please!)Now for

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1122518776639161672005-07-27T21:19:00.000-05:002005-07-27T21:46:16.663-05:00

Today is Wednesday, right? Either I'm losing touch with reality OR I am unable to access my Haloscan comments. I can't even see the button for Haloscan on my site or anyone else's for that matter.Do you think it's the new hair color? I had a new 'do done yesterday by the fabulous Kathy Patrick but maybe the dye has affected my brain or something? There will be pics in the near future so no

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1122412676908775422005-07-26T16:11:00.000-05:002005-07-26T16:17:56.920-05:00

The World According to Tish is approaching the 25,000 visitor.Who will it be? A regular reader? A first time passerby?Or, God Forbid, ME?So here's the deal: Whomever is lucky enough to be the 25,000th actual visitor, PLEASE capture it and email it to me. If you include your physical address, there could be aPRIZE INVOLVED! I should mention that comments are still appreciated, so no drive by

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1122318206183993122005-07-25T12:55:00.000-05:002005-07-25T14:03:26.196-05:00

Thanks to Live Aid 8, there will be more food, money, and supplies for Africans in need. While this is and has been a noble effort by our media elite, it's time to utilize them in the most important mission: saving our civilization.It's no secret that Islamofascists hate all that we stand for, but at the root of their hatred for us is the freedom women enjoy, and for that matter, homosexuals as

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1122254178191434792005-07-24T20:11:00.000-05:002005-07-24T20:16:18.200-05:00

At this moment eight years ago, I was screaming at two nurses while in labor. Let me rephrase that, cussing at two nurses during what felt like a revival of "Alien". Before anyone calls me a nurse basher, they were discussing lunch menus while I was waiting for my pain meds, unable to eat or drink. I'd say they earned that cussing.Eight years later, I find myself free of both children for a week,

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1122185819446724292005-07-24T00:51:00.000-05:002005-07-24T01:16:59.463-05:00

Never let it be said that I can't call myself a dumbass.Today was Drama Diva's birthday party. That in and of itself should produce nods of sympathy from all parents of eight year old girls, but here's the icing on the cake.We invited 25...35 showed up. Why is that? The sibling factor. I'm just as guilty as the next BPC (Birthday Party Circuit) Mom. Casper tags along with Drama Diva, and

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1122090032365355922005-07-22T22:26:00.000-05:002005-07-22T22:40:32.376-05:00

As I stood in the supposed 'ten items or less' line at Albertson's, I couldn't help but overhear a conversation between a yuppie couple."I'm not happy with this. Searching my purse? I don't even look like a terrorist." Manicured nails tapped her purchase."You could probably build a bomb with all the crap you have in there." His teeth gleamed blue-white, probably from overbleaching."Shut up!

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1121994495810678722005-07-21T19:14:00.000-05:002005-07-21T20:08:15.823-05:00

At first glance, these people appear harmless. So what if five children are shirtless in the kitchen? It is the summer.And so what if their one eyed bassett hound lolligags on the only relatively clean recliner? Some people treat their dogs like people, that's all.I have to draw conclusions, however, when I am confronted with the following situations:Three broken sets of dentures floating in a

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1121909155531711102005-07-20T19:46:00.000-05:002005-07-20T20:25:55.553-05:00

In planning for today's post, many ideas floated in and out of my mind during the daily drive. I could write about the flea infested home where I spent thirty scratchy minutes surrounded by of all things, CHIHUAHUAS. We all know by now how I feel about that breed of dog: great jerky if you can find it.I would write my latest political essay on Ameri-qu'ran, but I need more time to outline my

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1121738109630002892005-07-18T19:46:00.000-05:002005-07-18T20:55:09.696-05:00

Asking questions in normal situations is rarely difficult. Directions, movie reviews, even dinner choices BUT try asking common sense questions to any health care professional in a hospital setting, and you might as well be asking when Paris Hilton will gain weight. As a health care professional myself, I try to explain not just what we are doing, but why as well. Granted, there are new HIPPA

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1121573487650084752005-07-16T22:50:00.000-05:002005-07-16T23:28:14.333-05:00

Tomorrow, we are to Little Rock to visit my ailing mother-in-law. Not to sound the alarm, but I am very worried about her so my first favor is prayers/good thoughts for her. Long story short, internal bleeding plus two artificial heart valves, and respiratory issues. Yep, I'm worried.My second favor is also in the good thought arena. One of my newer and favorite blog finds, An American

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1121398558771697102005-07-14T22:07:00.000-05:002005-07-14T22:35:58.780-05:00

In a word, blah. Just when you think they've scraped the backside of the barrel's bottom, we are given Fantastic Four. I'm not knocking the original comic or the idea of superheroes in general but there are two hours of my life that cannot be refunded or exchanged for a much needed nap.What Hollywood needs to film are real superheroes. Not muscle bound men or tight butted women, but the

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1121309360599084202005-07-13T21:07:00.000-05:002005-07-13T21:49:21.886-05:00

I might look like other mindless consumers but don't assume your sales ad brought me in your store. It wasn't your teenie bopper television spots, either. I'd say next to the Burger King commercial with that enormous headed King, your ads sit in the top three for Most Annoying on any given day.If you must know, I was lulled into a look-see excursion by the proximity and endorphin release of a

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1121212304066410582005-07-12T18:44:00.000-05:002005-07-12T19:43:55.986-05:00

When I was young, I feared nurses. For some reason, my pediatrician always hired Nurse Ratchett clones. You know the kind: the sick little smile that appears when a shot is ordered, her firm grip onto a needle made for horse injections, and then at the last moment, her gleeful sigh as she literally punches said needle through your skin within a millimeter of your femoral shaft.Casper has heard

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1121130927364091852005-07-11T19:34:00.000-05:002005-07-11T20:15:27.376-05:00

Today's contestant pinball is Tish, a thirty something wife and mother of two with a penchant for foot in mouth disease and bad luck. Her challenge, to obtain all items on her list while shopping WITHOUT being distracted or disturbed.The playing field, ripe with obstacles and forces beyond her control. What will happen to our heroine? Let's watch.Tish rounds the toothpaste corner pushing her

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1120972873715402612005-07-09T23:48:00.000-05:002005-07-10T00:21:13.746-05:00

Mike has tapped me for the following meme. Read at your own peril. I'd suggest large quantities of flavored liquor to make it completely through without falling asleep.10 years ago: I was newly married, and attempting to cook what I thought was cinnamon pancakes....only we had no cinnamon. The brownish red substance I dumped into the mix was cayenne pepper. Yep, not a good breakfast for hubby

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1120921301957069342005-07-09T09:53:00.000-05:002005-07-09T10:01:44.780-05:00

It's Saturday and I have to WORK. Granted, I will probably glean some great blog material as I treat the Virgin Stripper but I'd rather be swimming the kids or cleaning my new countertop for the bar in my kitchen. Instead, I'm off to see five patients so I will leave you with your questions for Saturday's Spill.When are you the most relaxed?Where is your least favorite place?What pleases only

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1120860320739718012005-07-08T17:01:00.000-05:002005-07-08T19:02:40.993-05:00

Today I was informed that I was as cruel as a Nazi soldier by a patient clearly in need of pharmaceutical assistance (sorry Tom Cruise, but no amount of zinc will help this lady). This following a morning conversation with my Drama Diva including reasons why I cannot understand what a near eight year old's summer life could possibly be like, and how I embarress her with my old fashioned

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1120771283787068402005-07-07T16:09:00.000-05:002005-07-07T16:21:23.796-05:00

Once again, cowardice strikes a civilized nation. Instead of burying their heads into the sand like so many of our own Congressmen are doing, the British are standing strong against such an evil act. Terrorism has no conscience, no shame, and certainly no humanity. No matter how small or large the act is, any form of terrorism should be dealt with in the same manner: swift and lethal

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1120695698760464882005-07-06T18:43:00.000-05:002005-07-06T19:21:38.820-05:00

Forget Survivor or Big Brother for entertainment! Tom Cruise's war with Brooke Shields has got reality television beat for summer ratings. While I wasn't a big fan of Tom's before this latest stunt, his attack on Brooke Shields went beyond the pale of normal celebrity idiocy and has earned Tom a plaque in the Dumbass Hall of Fame.Don't worry about offending, say, HALF of your viewing audience,

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1120530194316656572005-07-05T21:11:00.000-05:002005-07-05T22:42:50.043-05:00

Somewhere, there are pigs flying over a field of crow pies just waiting for my appetite. You see, I am not a 'country' person. Sure, I like country music and have attended many concerts by boot wearing stars, but me? Nope. I like my khakis, high water pants, or the ever so comfortable sweat pants. My friend Laurie had a hat like this and wore it to the Los Lonely Boys concert we took our families

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1120530853400708732005-07-04T21:24:00.000-05:002005-07-04T21:34:13.406-05:00

Happy Fourth of July! For the past three days, I have been internet-less, sleeping past 9:00 am, and watching my nephew dance around Drama Diva and Casper. Hubby went fishing every night with my dad and brother-in-law, which produced skads of croppies (white perch down round here) and one three pound channel catfish. A thunderstorm of biblical proportions awakened Casper, which, in turn,

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1120091553029850532005-06-29T19:09:00.000-05:002005-06-29T21:27:15.523-05:00

If movies are the reflection of our society, a film's audience and their behavior surely defines our social skills.In the past twenty years, ticket prices have more than doubled. Despite the fact that concession stands have greatly increased their variety and seats are now comfortable compared to the stadium benches of long ago, the problem we face isn't the theatre but its occupants. Maybe if

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1120006219498217502005-06-28T19:48:00.000-05:002005-06-28T20:11:09.746-05:00

I am having heartburn.Either I'm nesting OR I have contracted the Martha Stewart virus. Since hubby has been 'altered' and I haven't had contact with other men (excluding my stroke patients, hip patients, and/or cardiac patients), I'm not pregnant. Wait, you don't think those old men drugged me with a good Dr. Pepper, had their way with me, and then awakened me with ammonia? Whew, I think I've

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1119927401177405022005-06-27T21:33:00.000-05:002005-06-27T21:56:41.186-05:00

The man that raised Laura Ingalls Wilder has become my parenting hero.Since we are battling the 'do you hit back?' conundrum, a flashback to an old Highway to Heaven flew across my mind. Michael Landon's character was hit once in the face, and after he turned the other cheek, received another blow. He then proceeded to fight back, saying that God didn't say turn both cheeks or something to that

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1119820557972089392005-06-26T15:37:00.000-05:002005-06-26T16:15:57.983-05:00

Mike, my unofficial brother, asked: What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? On a personal level, I would become a successfully published author that could write full time. On a social level, I would find a way to eradicate the world of child abuse. On a spiritual level, I would seek a deeper relationship with God for myself and my family.What would be your dream vacation - where and

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1119757455813912582005-06-25T22:31:00.000-05:002005-06-25T22:44:15.823-05:00

Just when I was ready to sit back, relax, and blog about how great "Batman Begins" was, Sophie and the rest of her clan begin barking with such an intensity, we had to check it out.A snake had made its way into the pen and was cornered by all four dogs, Sophie leading the charge. What kind of snake? At first, I thought a simple grass snake BUT with closer inspection, it was identified as a water

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1119670577839171952005-06-24T22:17:00.000-05:002005-06-24T22:36:17.846-05:00

"Words will never hurt me...."Unless you are a soldier, then Dick "Turban" Durbin has caused mass indigestion.Unless you are a Liberal, then Carl Rove's analysis of coddling terrorists elicits shame. Unless you are a Conservative, then the influx of illegal immigrants' Spanish language offends your ears but not your conscience.Unless you are a woman, then being compared to a female dog and/or a

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1119579488291450162005-06-23T20:47:00.000-05:002005-06-23T21:18:08.303-05:00

Since GOD didn't take me home, I shall continue blogging. Thanks to all of you for your sweet, awnry, and lively comments. Next year, I will be threatening all of you with a semi nude pic if my comment stats don't pick up. There will be plenty of time for sunglasses and vomit bag purchases.There are many things to look forward to as I age. Today, I learned how important that little dial on a

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1119492243130541682005-06-22T20:33:00.000-05:002005-06-22T21:04:03.150-05:00

Think back with me to the moment Oral Roberts claimed that GOD would call him home if he didn't raise 1,000,000 dollars. What a BRILLIANT ultimatum! Who dared call Oral's bluff? The believers across the world coughed up the ransom, and now Mr. Roberts will always be known as the best marketer in the entire world.I'm no Reverend BUT I am ready to pull an ORAL on my readers and silent lurkers if

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1119404607492966892005-06-21T20:08:00.000-05:002005-06-21T20:43:27.586-05:00

What horrible people we are in this United States. First, we have children, the exact temptation that all pedophiles cannot deny. What are we thinking? That's like swinging a string of sausages close enough to the lion but not within chomping range.Secondly, we protect these children like they are something 'precious'. Truth be told, a woman has the capability to have over thirty children if

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1119239765601419962005-06-19T22:30:00.000-05:002005-06-19T22:56:05.630-05:00

You would think after being a woman for 36 years, I'd have assimilated to the feminine ways. My lack of woman-ness is most apparent when decorating my home inside and out.It's not that I don't like furniture, but I don't go all ga-ga over a dining table like my friends. French country versus traditional European garden, I'm lost. Mixing chintz fabrics with coordinating window treatments -

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1119196241429205632005-06-19T10:32:00.000-05:002005-06-19T10:50:41.450-05:00

LITERALLY! Drama Diva's District tournament felt like a state fair rollercoaster with a drunken carnie at the control. While they won their first three games, the unfolding saga behind the scenes continues between coaches, coaches and parents, parents and parents, and even between a husband and wife (thankfully not me). Where is Rob Reiner when you need him? On every ball field there must be

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1118976980013844522005-06-16T21:55:00.000-05:002005-06-16T22:35:14.123-05:00

Politicians for Elite Treatment of Al-Qaida, or PETA, have elected their first chairman Senator Dick "Turban" Durbin. According to Mr. Durbin, currently incarcerated terrorists are being held like prisoners of concentration camps and gulags by barbaric American soldiers. According to Mr. Arnold, I mean Durbin, prison cells that hold the vilest of criminals are not up to snuff for these vermin.

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1118804416116669702005-06-14T21:49:00.000-05:002005-06-14T22:00:16.130-05:00

Other than Viva paper towels and exercise balls from BallDynamics, I rarely endorse anything. This is different. Reno 911! is probably my second favorite comedy on television, Seinfeld being first (yes, Mimi, I LOVE Seinfeld!)If there was a legal way that wouldn't break my marital vows, I would LOVE to be a hooker on Reno 911!. You have to watch the show to understand why, so I am challenging

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1118717539930498652005-06-13T21:21:00.000-05:002005-06-13T21:52:19.946-05:00

How many of you were spanked as a child? I can't count how many times I have felt the leather of a belt, the wire end of a fly swatter, or a unrolled newspaper found at just the right time. Last time I checked, I wasn't a serial killer, convicted felon, maladjusted sociopath, or deadbeat. The 'abuse' I endured must not have injured my delicate psyche. Apparently, I am functional enough to

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1118604637916698572005-06-12T14:23:00.000-05:002005-06-12T17:13:46.383-05:00

It means we won the tournament! When I say 'we', I mean the girls, of course. While I feel like I played on the field with them, I did not score a run or make an out. I did, however, become embroiled in a day and night long drama the likes of which Lifetime and Hallmark Channels should option right now for the fall season. Say, for argument's sake, that every parent/guardian is assigned

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1118450243749934342005-06-10T19:17:00.000-05:002005-06-10T19:37:23.756-05:00

Remind me to NEVER take my birthday off - the blog material is worth the work. Thanks for all of your birthday wishes. I don't feel like I am at the end of my mid thirties, and by all accounts, don't act like it, either.Today, I was privy to a national secret buried away in the Chainsaw Massacre patient's home. When I ducked my way into the 'home (the ceilings being 5'8" and I am 5'9"), I was

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1118373414419969432005-06-09T21:59:00.000-05:002005-06-10T06:40:18.720-05:00

Plus eleven more and that's me.While some people like to take their birthday off, I will be spending mine: A) In the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre home, complete with psychotic family members.B) With a centurion that cops a feel at least four times during the session. Gotta give the man credit, he hasn't lost his will to live. Or grope.C) With the Jehovah Witness. It's highly doubtful

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1118272460019515962005-06-08T18:05:00.000-05:002005-06-09T05:38:06.953-05:00

When I was a teenager, I was what New Age educators would call "imaginatively inventive". In other words, I was a good liar. Whether great or small, insignificant or crucial, my lying abilities had Oscar award potential. I realize now that I shall pay for this power with Drama Diva.For instance, take my sister's birthday. In our family, birthdays are a big deal. Everyone is expected to buy a

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1118114853894821592005-06-06T21:44:00.000-05:002005-06-06T22:27:33.923-05:00

I am now eligible to check my credit report for free to ward off any identity theft early.According to the AM radio programs I listen to everyday, my identity can be stolen by anyone with a computer, access to my address or social security number.But what if one of my many personalities decides to apply for credit cards, go on a weekend shopping spree, and then not pay? Can't I claim theft if my

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1118001588923589792005-06-05T14:29:00.000-05:002005-06-05T14:59:48.946-05:00

He would have sealed my lips shut long ago. Far be it from me to save an opinion, a thought, or even a run-on sentence for another day. My heart may be in the right place BUT to some, the blunt sword of Tish slices a little too deep.I grew up that if it walked like a duck and quacked like a duck, well, it was a duck, by God. That's not popular in a PC world. Now you have to worry about

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1117902000613655152005-06-04T11:05:00.000-05:002005-06-04T11:20:00.623-05:00

In honor of summer and all that is Saturday, today's spillage questions are designed to dig deeper into your psyche so that I can use it against you in a court of law, or as a bonus question on Jeopardy!.1) What is your most cherished summer memory?2) When was the last time you slept in on Saturday (and by sleeping in, I mean no alarm clock, no adult/child interruptions, nothing)?3) Who has

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1117852159903974502005-06-03T20:55:00.000-05:002005-06-03T21:29:19.953-05:00

I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, so when I heard about rainbow parties, I thought it was just another girls' night out to check out the overpriced vacuum system sold throughout the nation.Boy was I wrong. There are many ways to look at this problem, if you are one of the millions of people that see it as a problem. Believe it or not, there are always those individuals (most of whom are

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1117684202992347582005-06-01T22:29:00.000-05:002005-06-01T23:20:03.110-05:00

One of the crossroads into puberty is the discovery of the 'first' hair. Pre-teen girls giggle and gush to their friends while the boys strut around the school in a peacock like fashion.So when did body hair get such a bad rap? We coo over our child's first wispy lock and cry at the barber as it falls to the floor. Who cries for the unwanted leg hair, the underarm hair, or the 'mound of Venus'

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1117594961785460752005-05-31T21:45:00.000-05:002005-05-31T22:02:41.813-05:00

When I started blogging, I had selfish reasons. To build a fan base, my agent said. For exposure, he said. To catch the eye of an interested publisher, he repeated.So I began this little blog but I didn't realize who I would meet along the way. What started as a PR tool has become a circle of friends, a net to catch me when I fall.Thanks to all of you who have commented and emailed me in the

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1117492409172935902005-05-30T17:23:00.000-05:002005-05-30T17:33:29.180-05:00

Hello to all of you in the blogosphere. I hope your Memorial Day was filled with family, food, and most of all, homage to those that have given their lives for our freedom.Yesterday I was informed that a good friend, a woman with two children the same age as mine, died. She had two cosmetic procedures, and on day three, they think she had a PE (pulmonary embolism. Her mother found her early

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1117151961008279362005-05-26T18:45:00.000-05:002005-05-26T18:59:21.016-05:00

Somewhere in heaven, God chuckles at the predicaments he creates for me."Hey, Gabriel, put that trucker with the bad body odor in front of Tish while she is waiting in line at the convenience store.""Too bad her next patient just entered her fourth personality's time of the month. He he he he""Make sure the dogs tip over the bowl AFTER Tish fills it up with clean water, got it?""This should be an

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1117066908613033932005-05-25T18:39:00.000-05:002005-05-25T19:21:48.700-05:00

Just when I think I've heard it all! What do you say to a woman that, with no shame in her voice, tells you she is putting her eleven year old daughter on birth control pills?ELEVEN YEAR OLD ON BIRTH CONTROL PILLS?!?I froze with what had to be my well known 'shock and awe' countenance (think Elain on Seinfeld). What do you say? 'Great idea' or 'wish mine was old enough'?What's so disturbing,

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1116977875423526202005-05-24T18:20:00.000-05:002005-05-24T18:37:55.433-05:00

Let me ask you all something: am I a prude? Sure, I've toned down quite a bit since having children, but has it gone too far?Here's the situation - Drama Diva attends a summer day program that has swimming everyday for two hours. There are approximately 200 kids from five years old to eleven, all being supervised by college students and full-time adult directors. Yesterday, a boy kept calling

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1116908105164424042005-05-23T22:38:00.000-05:002005-05-23T23:15:06.626-05:00

According to the experts, the average educated adult has a vocabulary of 50,000 to 70,000 words.Of course, these so called professionals aren't considering the "kid" factor. For example, weren't your conversations full of three syllable words, philosophical tangents, and deep thoughts before the pitter patter of little feet?I can remember the days when I actually used the words 'perhaps', '

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1116774164001305132005-05-22T09:32:00.000-05:002005-05-24T18:16:21.403-05:00

Today's guest is Bathsheba, the infamous other woman.Tish: So glad you could join us on such short notice, Bathsheba. Can I call you Bath?Bathsheba: I prefer Bathsheba. It's a lovely place you have here. Mind if I stretch out?(rolls around on the chaise lounge and purrs) Aren't you married?Tish: Yes, happily so. Bathsheba: Oh, thats' what they all say, honey. (sighs) So, is he around,

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1116684410746153342005-05-21T08:54:00.000-05:002005-05-21T09:06:52.260-05:00

Since another softball tournament approaches at noon, today's questions are sports related. If you are not athletically inclined, feel free to lie. I find that lies about one's prowess on the field/court/diamond are sometimes more interesting than the truth.1) What was your one stand out moment in athletic competition?2) Who was your worst coach? Why?3) When did you realize you weren't going

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1116650321962793902005-05-20T23:10:00.000-05:002005-05-20T23:38:41.970-05:00

So you're telling me there's no Hell? And all this time I was afraid of eternal damnation. Thanks for clearing that up. But, just to make sure I'm understanding this, all that talk in the BIBLE about hellfire, knashing of teeth, and suffering forever is just metaphorical? Could have fooled me and about ten BILLION other people on this earth. And Jesus, too. No birthday parties? Are you

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1116559727664084952005-05-19T22:06:00.000-05:002005-05-19T22:28:47.693-05:00

Dateline: Texas Officials were called to a T-BALL game Monday Night after a coach, his second wife, his ex-wife, and her new husband had to DRAGGED OFF OF THE FIELD after they began choking each other DURING THE GAME. After police ESCORTED the four from the field, game play resumed.Dateline: TexasAt tonight's softball game, our first baseman tagged a runner out, to which their first base coach

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1116469915774707552005-05-18T16:33:00.000-05:002005-05-18T21:31:55.780-05:00

Imagine there are many stores waiting for your business. Some claim low prices, other tease better selection, and still others bait you with offers of rebates and no payments for a year. Now imagine that once you choose this store, it's the only store you will shop from for the rest of your life. That puts a different spin on your choice, doesn't it? Convenience stores are out, not enough

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1116386692552570872005-05-17T21:54:00.000-05:002005-05-17T22:24:52.563-05:00

Today has been scattered, thoughts whirling in a tornadic dance across a my parking lot mind. Bear with me as I throw my mental spaghetti against the wall to see if it sticks.Robby Knievel is missing the part of the brain that fears pain, death, and normal clothing.Target is secretly taping me in my own home, and places the items I desire on sale just as payday approaches.The whore of my home,

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1116296328738877332005-05-16T20:40:00.000-05:002005-05-16T21:18:48.846-05:00

Some people have the gift of candor, wit, and sarcasm. While I'd love to claim them as mine, I have been marked with New Balance disorder. It seems that my mouth is just big enough to fit in one if not both shoes when I say/blurt/comment on events that would better be observed in my silence.Today's TWO examples are set at a t-ball field. There I am, minding my own business as usual (Tish

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1116190725474417192005-05-15T15:30:00.000-05:002005-05-24T18:17:44.053-05:00

Tish: On this warm Sunday afternoon, we are joined by Jonah's girlfriend--Jonah: AND ME! There won't be any discussion taking place WITHOUT ME, GOT IT?!Tish: Okay then. So, What do I call you? Jonah's girlfriend just doesn't sound respectful.Jonah's Girlfriend: Try telling that to this lug. (gestures to Jonah)Jonah: NOT TODAY, WOMAN!Tish: (Bites lip in frustration)Tell me about dating a

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1116118046564753522005-05-14T18:47:00.000-05:002005-05-14T19:49:00.666-05:00

How jealous are the single people are of me right now? Yea, you've got your freedom, your figures, your 'me' money, your cool cars, your hi-tech gadgets, your expensive hair products, tanning memberships, your spontaneous weekend trips, your nightclubbing, BUT.............I get to fill up a poorly made eight foot plastic pool in a tilting backyard, mediate an argument on which Justice League

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1116038224010078692005-05-13T21:03:00.000-05:002005-05-13T21:37:04.020-05:00

You pass them at the pharmacy or the doctor's office. They are the invisible majority in our society. Even though the media celebrates youth as if it were a precious commodity, the baby boomers are the true hidden gems of our time.Every day I am amazed at the stories these treasures possess, and what boggles my mind is no one is listening. Not to the WWII Vet who survived the front line, not to

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1115858146759329442005-05-12T19:20:00.000-05:002005-05-12T21:26:44.140-05:00

Texas is considering a 'sin' tax on cigarettes, junk food, and alcohol to fund our bankrupt public education. Our legislature really needs to wake up and realize that there are SO many more opportunities just screaming "TAX ME MORE!" What would these be, you ask?Well, let's see:Playgirl, Playboy, Penthouse, etc. If you really want to see your share of silicone and airbrushing, then pony up an

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1115861034143533552005-05-11T19:59:00.000-05:002005-05-11T20:23:54.360-05:00

Welcome to the World, Sugar Sharp!!Mastiff/Lab Mix

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1115776828775448952005-05-10T20:34:00.000-05:002005-05-10T21:00:29.103-05:00

I think Mondays get a bad rap. For the most part,we all return to work, school,and life on Monday. So does everyone else and that means the stakes are even.It's Tuesday you have to look out for, watch, and yes, even dread.Tuesday seems innocent enough, the second workday in the week, but look closer. Tuesday is filled with project assignments, job evaluations, and PTA meetings. In her clenched

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1115698968677963872005-05-09T22:46:00.000-05:002005-05-09T23:22:48.996-05:00

Tish: Today we have caught up with the seductive Delilah between taping her latest informercial...Delilah:It's all about me, my dancing, and how to, you know, capture your man.Tish: Wait, didn't you betray your husband?Delilah: I don't like to focus on what happens AFTER, Tish. (Her eyes narrow in my direction) It's a well known fact that my feminine wiles can encite men to war or...Tish:

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1115417883871110172005-05-08T18:32:00.000-05:002005-05-08T18:34:19.853-05:00

Have you ever tried explaining white lies to your children? For those without children, think back to your childhood. Unless you were raised in Hollywood by celebrity parents, it's doubtful the art of white lies was taught to you.It wasn't the lie that bothered my kids, but the fact that I called it a "white" lie. Casper's eyes searched for the answer to this question:Is there a blue lie?That got

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1115573240061022002005-05-08T11:56:00.000-05:002005-05-08T12:27:20.323-05:00

Once a year, we honor and celebrate the life givers of our world.Cards are sent, flowers dispatched, and dinners cooked for the one person that held our hearts from the very beginning. Some mothers have the luxury of carrying their children to full-term, others await the arrival of their children via a complete stranger, but they are all mothers just the same.There are no June Cleaver moments in

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1115352191713413852005-05-05T22:44:00.000-05:002005-05-05T23:03:11.923-05:00

There are times when you swallow your pride as a parent, and then there are times that the german shepard inside of you lunges at anyone who dares hurt your child. Tonight, my inner guard dog leapt to life.Normally, I stay out of the coaches' way. Other than assisting in the dugout with the lineup, I don't argue about their tactics. Until tonight.The first sign to my husband was my jaw. Good

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1115263002032253942005-05-04T22:02:00.000-05:002005-05-04T23:07:22.256-05:00

Hands down, the best college job in the universe. Well, except for the three years surrounded by college athletes and that summer waiting tables in Dallas. From 1990-1992, I held down a full-time job (yes, that means 40 hours a week) while attending college full-time (yes, that means 15 hours of Pre-Physical Therapy courses). Time was limited to work, school, occasional sleep and required

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1115094617101717912005-05-02T23:29:00.000-05:002005-05-03T21:47:30.246-05:00

Welcome to Wisteria Lane, home of the most dysfunctional marriages primetime television has offered in a long time. Here at the Stay Happy Inc. Tish LLC (AKA SHIT, LLC), we offer four different counseling sessions based on this popular series. Each encounter is tailor made to meet your emotional needs within the loving boundaries of an unhealthy relationship. Our special this month is a

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1114997114250775932005-05-01T20:25:00.000-05:002005-05-01T20:32:34.296-05:00

Makes me wish I had put makeup on today.  Oh well, it's just a picture of a dog.  And Sophie's in there, too.

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1114967549322679472005-05-01T11:41:00.000-05:002005-05-01T12:12:29.326-05:00

When I was pregnant with Drama Diva, I happened along a fantastic book by Gavin De Becker The Gift of Fear. In it, he defined what a bitch is and it totally blew my mind. I highly recommend this book for every woman at any age.Being In Total Control of Herself.His spin on the "B" word is completely different than what I knew it to be. I began thinking of a time in my life when Prince still

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1114877434094882912005-04-30T11:08:00.000-05:002005-04-30T11:10:34.096-05:00

For many people, southerners are thought of as slow witted, grammatically challenged inbreds whose sole purpose is to amuse the more intelligent beings of the world. That misconception has been validated by redneck jokes and Arkansas rumors but couldn’t be further from the truth. Truth be told being southern isn’t a burden but rather a blessing.Where else can a person appreciate lightening bugs?

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1114818206083488592005-04-29T17:55:00.000-05:002005-04-29T18:43:26.086-05:00

Snickers bars, they seem so innocent, don't they? All those roasted peanuts drowning in caramel and then drenched in milk chocolate - what could be wrong with that?Let me take you on a journey to 1984, when Tish was a skinny, longlegged virgin. Every summer, between swimming at the local pool and sleeping late, there was Church Camp. And like every Church Camp, there is that one devotional set

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1114656419600283442005-04-27T21:31:00.000-05:002005-04-27T21:46:59.603-05:00

The Plaintiff: TishThe Defendant: Hershey CorporationThe Case: A thirty five year old woman is suing the Hershey Corporation for the creation and distribution of White Chocolate Peanut Butter cups.The Claim: Being brainwashed by the overwhelming marketing campaign of said peanut butter cups, Plaintiff consumed at least two packages within a twenty four hour period. This caused an enlargement of

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1114541966824899922005-04-26T13:56:00.000-05:002005-04-26T22:50:52.836-05:00

For twenty one to twenty eight days, they hide in the dark recesses of our mind/uteri. Men, co-workers, and children unaware of these ticking timebombs are usually the first innocent victims once these hounds from Hell are unleashed.Bloaty rears his ugly head on the first day. Jeans that once fit nicely now have zippers refusing to close. Elastic waistbands are tested to their maximum stretch,

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1114377851633546892005-04-24T15:54:00.000-05:002005-04-25T22:02:23.216-05:00

Ages 0-4: Nothing unless you count the safety plug covers that every child automatically gravitates towards with infinite curiosity.Ages 5-10:What little girl doesn't dream of and eventually own the E-Z bake oven? Mine was slightly used, a sticker torn so it read "Z Bak ove". The light bulb unevenly baked the cookies and mini-cakes. Somehow it survived me but bit the dust as my sister introduced

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1114360050516252552005-04-24T10:50:00.000-05:002005-04-24T11:41:22.173-05:00

Today, we are chatting with the oh so lovely Noah's Wife. Tish:I noticed that your name isn't mentioned in the Bible. Can you tell us why?Noah's Wife:Well, dear, we were a little busy with all of those animals to worry about something so insignificant like that. You women today are more concerned about that sort of recognition. Tish: Okay..Could you tell us about your time on the Ark? Noah's

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7971338.post-1114208056555021212005-04-22T17:04:00.000-05:002005-04-22T17:51:52.386-05:00

This meeting has now come to order. We are hear for the confirmation of Tish as a PTA member, delegate to the third grade class. Do any of the members have any questions for Tish?VP Boxer: I do, if it pleases the committee. First, we have sources that link you to an incident of gay bashing in 1976. How do you respond to these charges?Tish: Are you talking about third grade?!VP Boxer: Don't

Tisha from Texashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13554852140947229564noreply@blogger.com9